Comments on: What I Really Needed Immediately After Having a Baby http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1019 Reading, Writing, Movies and Mothering in Minneapolis, Mostly Tue, 12 May 2026 07:38:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: girldetective http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1019&cpage=1#comment-8936 girldetective Sat, 11 Aug 2007 19:47:34 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1019#comment-8936 I wrote this recently to a friend who is expecting, since I didn't know what I needed after having Drake, and had such wonderful support from my families before, during and after having Guppy: What you'll need after baby is likely someone to procure/make food, someone to do laundry and clean, and someone to hold the baby and let you nap, and who will give the baby back so you can bond with it. This does not have to be one person. A pp doula is a great idea. My moms group provides meals for moms post baby. You also will want time alone with your new family, so establishing a safe word in advance that means "please leave now" might be helpful if requested and explained in advance. Extended visits by anyone can be exhausting. It helps to limit visits to one unit at a time, e.g., parents, sibling or in-laws, not a combination, I wrote this recently to a friend who is expecting, since I didn’t know what I needed after having Drake, and had such wonderful support from my families before, during and after having Guppy:

What you’ll need after baby is likely someone to procure/make food,
someone to do laundry and clean, and someone to hold the baby and let
you nap, and who will give the baby back so you can bond with it. This
does not have to be one person. A pp doula is a great idea. My moms
group provides meals for moms post baby. You also will want time alone with your new
family, so establishing a safe word in advance that means “please leave
now” might be helpful if requested and explained in advance.

Extended visits by anyone can be exhausting. It helps to limit visits to
one unit at a time, e.g., parents, sibling or in-laws, not a combination,

]]> By: Sydney http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1019&cpage=1#comment-8931 Sydney Thu, 09 Aug 2007 04:10:35 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1019#comment-8931 I would like to add that, very soon after you returned from the hospital with Drake and IMMEDIATELY with Guppy, you had your FAMILY there to love and support you. I would think this should be in the 'must have' list. :) I would like to add that, very soon after you returned from the hospital with Drake and IMMEDIATELY with Guppy, you had your FAMILY there to love and support you. I would think this should be in the ‘must have’ list. :)

]]> By: girldetective http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1019&cpage=1#comment-8909 girldetective Sat, 04 Aug 2007 00:37:30 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1019#comment-8909 It's so fitting that discussion on what you need for motherhood ranges from the sublime to the ridiculous, the sacred to the mundane. Kate, about the cloth diaper burp rags, I got those, too, and still use them. They make fab bibs for Guppy since they're big, tie-able in the back, and washable. But they stain, and I can use our existing dishtowels and wash cloths interchangeably, so if I were to do it again, I might skip them and just get more dishtowels so I would have one fewer laundry pile. Kristin, you are so right that knowing about PPD is far more important than having burp cloths. Burp cloths are a lot easier to improvise on than mental health. The book idea is good, and I'd also recommend deputizing a friend who's been through it to check up weekly with the new mom and see how her anger/sadness/fatigue levels are, since things can get really tough really fast. It’s so fitting that discussion on what you need for motherhood ranges from the sublime to the ridiculous, the sacred to the mundane.

Kate, about the cloth diaper burp rags, I got those, too, and still use them. They make fab bibs for Guppy since they’re big, tie-able in the back, and washable. But they stain, and I can use our existing dishtowels and wash cloths interchangeably, so if I were to do it again, I might skip them and just get more dishtowels so I would have one fewer laundry pile.

Kristin, you are so right that knowing about PPD is far more important than having burp cloths. Burp cloths are a lot easier to improvise on than mental health. The book idea is good, and I’d also recommend deputizing a friend who’s been through it to check up weekly with the new mom and see how her anger/sadness/fatigue levels are, since things can get really tough really fast.

]]> By: Kristin Park http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1019&cpage=1#comment-8905 Kristin Park Thu, 02 Aug 2007 19:33:39 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1019#comment-8905 Hi there! I really like your blog -- especially the name. (I recently saw the Nancy Drew movie with my daughter and loved it since I was such a Nancy Drew freak when I was a kid.) Anyway, as far as your new mom list goes, the only thing I'd recommend as a very, very necessary item would be a book on postpartum depression. Too many new moms are sent home from the hospital without a clue (no pun intended here!) of what PPD is, how the symptoms manifest, and what in the world to do about it. The book that saved me when I suffered horribly from PPD after my third baby is called "Postpartum Survival Guide" by Ann Dunnewold. This was back in 1996, but I heard that the book has been revised and republished this year. Anyway, to me, the knowledge/awareness of PPD is way more important than nursing pads or burp cloths any day. Simply knowing what to expect and how to prevent it from happening again, allowed me to have an awesome postpartum with my fourth baby. I'm going to read more of your blog now -- it's great! It was Jack Vinson, who I just met at the Blogher conference who suggested that I stop by. Best, Kristin http://ppdsurvivor.blogspot.com Hi there! I really like your blog — especially the name. (I recently saw the Nancy Drew movie with my daughter and loved it since I was such a Nancy Drew freak when I was a kid.) Anyway, as far as your new mom list goes, the only thing I’d recommend as a very, very necessary item would be a book on postpartum depression. Too many new moms are sent home from the hospital without a clue (no pun intended here!) of what PPD is, how the symptoms manifest, and what in the world to do about it. The book that saved me when I suffered horribly from PPD after my third baby is called “Postpartum Survival Guide” by Ann Dunnewold. This was back in 1996, but I heard that the book has been revised and republished this year. Anyway, to me, the knowledge/awareness of PPD is way more important than nursing pads or burp cloths any day. Simply knowing what to expect and how to prevent it from happening again, allowed me to have an awesome postpartum with my fourth baby.
I’m going to read more of your blog now — it’s great! It was Jack Vinson, who I just met at the Blogher conference who suggested that I stop by.
Best,
Kristin
http://ppdsurvivor.blogspot.com

]]> By: Kate http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1019&cpage=1#comment-8904 Kate Thu, 02 Aug 2007 17:35:39 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1019#comment-8904 Oooh, I hate those What to Expect books. I was diagnosed with IUGR, and the What to Expect said the condition ceased when the mom stopped using drugs and alcohol. Because, yeah, that's what caused it for me. Or not really not even at all, and only caused me more guilt and grief. My book preference was Spock. We did need lots of burp clothes (GIRD baby), but we used inexpensive cloth diapers which worked wonderfully. One packed we needed right away, then bought many more later. Now he still uses them (three years old) as his loveys--and we have 40 of them or so. Otherwise, I completely agree. Oooh, I hate those What to Expect books. I was diagnosed with IUGR, and the What to Expect said the condition ceased when the mom stopped using drugs and alcohol. Because, yeah, that’s what caused it for me. Or not really not even at all, and only caused me more guilt and grief. My book preference was Spock.

We did need lots of burp clothes (GIRD baby), but we used inexpensive cloth diapers which worked wonderfully. One packed we needed right away, then bought many more later. Now he still uses them (three years old) as his loveys–and we have 40 of them or so.

Otherwise, I completely agree.

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