Comments on: Pondering Post-Partum Depression http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1022 Reading, Writing, Movies and Mothering in Minneapolis, Mostly Wed, 10 Jun 2026 13:03:11 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: girldetective http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1022&cpage=1#comment-8925 girldetective Tue, 07 Aug 2007 15:53:49 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1022#comment-8925 There's a very difficult balance between talking and writing about how hard taking care of small kids is for me, and bitching about it. I love my kids; I'm glad I had them, and I wouldn't undo that decision for the world. Also, the recent week my husband and I had alone affirmed both that I'm glad to be married, and I'm glad we decided to have kids. But it's still hard every day for me. I don't want the kids to believe that I dislike being their mom. Yet I don't want to pretend it's easier than it is. Like you said, it just perpetuates this romantic myth of mommyhood. If we discuss real life experience AND the inherent joys, perhaps other women can have a more balanced consideration of whether to get married, have a child, and have more than one child, in spite of the considerable social pressure to do so. And perhaps the incidence of PPD could be lessened, or the severity ameliorated, by having a more honest, supportive environment if people do decide to have a kid or kids. There’s a very difficult balance between talking and writing about how hard taking care of small kids is for me, and bitching about it. I love my kids; I’m glad I had them, and I wouldn’t undo that decision for the world. Also, the recent week my husband and I had alone affirmed both that I’m glad to be married, and I’m glad we decided to have kids. But it’s still hard every day for me.

I don’t want the kids to believe that I dislike being their mom. Yet I don’t want to pretend it’s easier than it is. Like you said, it just perpetuates this romantic myth of mommyhood. If we discuss real life experience AND the inherent joys, perhaps other women can have a more balanced consideration of whether to get married, have a child, and have more than one child, in spite of the considerable social pressure to do so. And perhaps the incidence of PPD could be lessened, or the severity ameliorated, by having a more honest, supportive environment if people do decide to have a kid or kids.

]]> By: Kristin Park http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1022&cpage=1#comment-8920 Kristin Park Mon, 06 Aug 2007 02:37:58 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=1022#comment-8920 The whole stigma surrounding not only PPD but just the fact that much of this parenting thing is not what we expected, is so hard to break through. I only have a small handful of close friends (other moms) who I can truly share my mommyhood-related frustrations with and know that I won't be criticized. There's still this pressure to try to live up to this totally unrealistic model that everything about having kids is wondrous and joyful. Thanks for bringing this up. The more we talk about it, the greater the chance of tearing down this stigma. (I love your blog by the way and have linked to it from mine!) The whole stigma surrounding not only PPD but just the fact that much of this parenting thing is not what we expected, is so hard to break through. I only have a small handful of close friends (other moms) who I can truly share my mommyhood-related frustrations with and know that I won’t be criticized. There’s still this pressure to try to live up to this totally unrealistic model that everything about having kids is wondrous and joyful. Thanks for bringing this up. The more we talk about it, the greater the chance of tearing down this stigma. (I love your blog by the way and have linked to it from mine!)

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