Comments on: “Love and Other Impossible Pursuits” by Ayelet Waldman http://www.girldetective.net/?p=2296 Reading, Writing, Movies and Mothering in Minneapolis, Mostly Mon, 11 May 2026 21:59:25 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: girldetective http://www.girldetective.net/?p=2296&cpage=1#comment-16833 girldetective Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:50:19 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=2296#comment-16833 I didn't have a problem with the writing; it was clear and efficient, a result, I'm sure of Waldman's experience writing legal briefs. And yes, in the second half I nearly threw in the towel on Emilia, who is, I think, supposed to be utterly insufferable at that point, and yes, her relationship with Jack is creepy. But she does grow and learn by the end (which the main character of Sittenfeld's Prep didn't, and that drove me mad, reading a whole entire book about that selfish twit), she was getting the hang of not being horrid to William, and had recognized her silly bashert talk and cruelty to others for the immature crap that they were. I think a lot of her insufferable behavior can also be traced to what she believed about her loss that she didn't tell others till later. Having lived through those crazy days just after having a baby, I can easily imagine and sympathize with the enormity of what happened, and what she feared. Having that fester inside would definitely mess a person up. I have a good friend who is a mommy in Manhattan, and I love hearing dispatches from her. But the mommy culture is tough and bizarre everywhere, even her in seemingly normal MN, lots of judgment masks lots of fear and (self) loathing, I think. I didn’t have a problem with the writing; it was clear and efficient, a result, I’m sure of Waldman’s experience writing legal briefs. And yes, in the second half I nearly threw in the towel on Emilia, who is, I think, supposed to be utterly insufferable at that point, and yes, her relationship with Jack is creepy. But she does grow and learn by the end (which the main character of Sittenfeld’s Prep didn’t, and that drove me mad, reading a whole entire book about that selfish twit), she was getting the hang of not being horrid to William, and had recognized her silly bashert talk and cruelty to others for the immature crap that they were.

I think a lot of her insufferable behavior can also be traced to what she believed about her loss that she didn’t tell others till later. Having lived through those crazy days just after having a baby, I can easily imagine and sympathize with the enormity of what happened, and what she feared. Having that fester inside would definitely mess a person up.

I have a good friend who is a mommy in Manhattan, and I love hearing dispatches from her. But the mommy culture is tough and bizarre everywhere, even her in seemingly normal MN, lots of judgment masks lots of fear and (self) loathing, I think.

]]> By: gretchen http://www.girldetective.net/?p=2296&cpage=1#comment-16813 gretchen Tue, 23 Jun 2009 20:27:54 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=2296#comment-16813 I think that you liked the book more than I did. I thought that the book needed a ruthless editor; while the first chapters flew by, the second half of the book really dragged for me. I also thought that Emilia was entirely unsympathetic. To be sure, the loss of her child is tragic -- but I thought that the story of her relationship with Jack was so narcissistic that it was virtually unreadable. I just grew so tired of Emilia, rhapsodizing about her bashert and her destiny and her soulmate while she kicks holes in other people's marriages, that I had no patience for much of the story. When writing is strong, I'm happy to read about an unsympathetic protagonist (see, e.g., Curtis Sittenfeld's oeuvre). But the combination of the writing and the deeply unsympathetic narrator just made the book a failure for me. Part of my dislike for the book, to be sure, emerged from the fact that I live in New York and find the entire Manhattan mommy scene to be both annoying and terrifying. But I also think that absent my personal take on it, the book really failed to make Emilia a character worth reading about. I think that you liked the book more than I did. I thought that the book needed a ruthless editor; while the first chapters flew by, the second half of the book really dragged for me. I also thought that Emilia was entirely unsympathetic. To be sure, the loss of her child is tragic — but I thought that the story of her relationship with Jack was so narcissistic that it was virtually unreadable. I just grew so tired of Emilia, rhapsodizing about her bashert and her destiny and her soulmate while she kicks holes in other people’s marriages, that I had no patience for much of the story. When writing is strong, I’m happy to read about an unsympathetic protagonist (see, e.g., Curtis Sittenfeld’s oeuvre). But the combination of the writing and the deeply unsympathetic narrator just made the book a failure for me.

Part of my dislike for the book, to be sure, emerged from the fact that I live in New York and find the entire Manhattan mommy scene to be both annoying and terrifying. But I also think that absent my personal take on it, the book really failed to make Emilia a character worth reading about.

]]> By: Amy http://www.girldetective.net/?p=2296&cpage=1#comment-16808 Amy Tue, 23 Jun 2009 00:29:22 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=2296#comment-16808 I had so much trouble with the infamous "I love my husband more than my kids" essay that I cannot bring myself to read more of her work. I feel so bad for those kids. Who wants to read that Mommy feels that if the kids died, she'd be sad but she'd get over it, but if Daddy dies, Mommy will be devastated? That crossed a big line for me. I had so much trouble with the infamous “I love my husband more than my kids” essay that I cannot bring myself to read more of her work. I feel so bad for those kids. Who wants to read that Mommy feels that if the kids died, she’d be sad but she’d get over it, but if Daddy dies, Mommy will be devastated? That crossed a big line for me.

]]> By: Jennifer http://www.girldetective.net/?p=2296&cpage=1#comment-16807 Jennifer Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:53:34 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=2296#comment-16807 I agree -- I'm actually more of a fan of Waldman's detective series (Mommy - Track) and her non-fiction articles about parenting than I was of this novel. It was a bit better than most 'chick lit,' but not memorable. Check out the series if you are looking for escapist LA based mysteries....and do glance at Bad Mother -- I thumbed through it at the airport yesterday and it looked intriguing. I agree — I’m actually more of a fan of Waldman’s detective series (Mommy - Track) and her non-fiction articles about parenting than I was of this novel. It was a bit better than most ‘chick lit,’ but not memorable. Check out the series if you are looking for escapist LA based mysteries….and do glance at Bad Mother — I thumbed through it at the airport yesterday and it looked intriguing.

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