Comments on: Weighty Matters http://www.girldetective.net/?p=4349 Reading, Writing, Movies and Mothering in Minneapolis, Mostly Mon, 11 May 2026 19:52:09 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Ritalee http://www.girldetective.net/?p=4349&cpage=1#comment-26521 Ritalee Fri, 16 Mar 2012 17:39:36 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=4349#comment-26521 Thanks for writing this brave interesting piece. I was rapt. It's such a sensitive topic, like writing about how much money you have, yet everyone can see you. When my mom had cancer and couldn't keep weight on she would tell people who complained about excess pounds that they were lucky to have an appetite. Chubby was my grandpa's nickname for my grandma for their entire married life. She and her best friend Stella would go to Hallmark the day after Valentine's Day and buy half-priced boxes of chocolate. She would tell people that they had put on weight with relish. I think she would love to know about my fuller cookie basket. Thanks for writing this brave interesting piece. I was rapt. It’s such a sensitive topic, like writing about how much money you have, yet everyone can see you. When my mom had cancer and couldn’t keep weight on she would tell people who complained about excess pounds that they were lucky to have an appetite. Chubby was my grandpa’s nickname for my grandma for their entire married life. She and her best friend Stella would go to Hallmark the day after Valentine’s Day and buy half-priced boxes of chocolate. She would tell people that they had put on weight with relish. I think she would love to know about my fuller cookie basket.

]]> By: girldetective http://www.girldetective.net/?p=4349&cpage=1#comment-26502 girldetective Thu, 08 Mar 2012 01:22:56 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=4349#comment-26502 Thanks, friend. It is so, so complicated, isn't it? Thanks, friend. It is so, so complicated, isn’t it?

]]> By: MFS http://www.girldetective.net/?p=4349&cpage=1#comment-26501 MFS Wed, 07 Mar 2012 18:06:21 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=4349#comment-26501 Wise, wise words, well expressed. Wise, wise words, well expressed.

]]> By: Kate http://www.girldetective.net/?p=4349&cpage=1#comment-26500 Kate Wed, 07 Mar 2012 14:16:47 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=4349#comment-26500 There came a point in my mid-20's when I lost a lot of weight through no actual work of my own (Tina Fey's book resonated with me on so many levels I can't even get into here, but that was one of them). And then I got pregnant at 27. And I couldn't keep on weight. And I tried, and I tried, and I TRIED and I couldn't. And many people commented on how I looked. And it turned out that D wasn't growing, and that this was a very big problem. And I remember the day I got the news and we went for a walk, and a neighbor yelled out something about looking good and not even looking pregnant and I couldn't not cry. I stopped making any comments, even ones that might be considered flattering, about any one's looks then. You just never know. I stopped caring about weight around that point--but I won't lie, I'm thinner now than when I got married. It's easier not to care when I fit into my clothes, which is really the only way I measure my size. It's easier not to care when I fit a certain societal expectation of what size I SHOULD be. In truth, I rarely have time to exercise. When people do complement my figure, I always feel like I should offer up apologies (and often do. It's messed up). Anyway, I guess my point is, yes, we should just leave people alone. And cheer them along when they ask for support exercising or otherwise enjoying their body. BUT ONLY WHEN THEY ASK. And yes, this also is an apology to anyone who's lost weight and I didn't offer a complement. You look great! ;) There came a point in my mid-20’s when I lost a lot of weight through no actual work of my own (Tina Fey’s book resonated with me on so many levels I can’t even get into here, but that was one of them). And then I got pregnant at 27. And I couldn’t keep on weight. And I tried, and I tried, and I TRIED and I couldn’t. And many people commented on how I looked. And it turned out that D wasn’t growing, and that this was a very big problem. And I remember the day I got the news and we went for a walk, and a neighbor yelled out something about looking good and not even looking pregnant and I couldn’t not cry. I stopped making any comments, even ones that might be considered flattering, about any one’s looks then. You just never know.

I stopped caring about weight around that point–but I won’t lie, I’m thinner now than when I got married. It’s easier not to care when I fit into my clothes, which is really the only way I measure my size. It’s easier not to care when I fit a certain societal expectation of what size I SHOULD be. In truth, I rarely have time to exercise. When people do complement my figure, I always feel like I should offer up apologies (and often do. It’s messed up).

Anyway, I guess my point is, yes, we should just leave people alone. And cheer them along when they ask for support exercising or otherwise enjoying their body. BUT ONLY WHEN THEY ASK. And yes, this also is an apology to anyone who’s lost weight and I didn’t offer a complement. You look great! ;)

]]> By: Jennifer Reese http://www.girldetective.net/?p=4349&cpage=1#comment-26499 Jennifer Reese Wed, 07 Mar 2012 01:17:59 +0000 http://www.girldetective.net/?p=4349#comment-26499 I've tried to stop judging myself, but in the end it seems easier to lose the weight than to lose the judgment. I wish it were not so. I recently lost weight and I kept waiting for someone to notice. No one did and no one did and then all of a sudden everyone did. At book club last week people were all commenting loudly about it and you know what? I hated it. I still haven't figured out why. It's like when you come back from the bathroom and someone says loudly, You put on lipstick! I’ve tried to stop judging myself, but in the end it seems easier to lose the weight than to lose the judgment. I wish it were not so.
I recently lost weight and I kept waiting for someone to notice. No one did and no one did and then all of a sudden everyone did. At book club last week people were all commenting loudly about it and you know what? I hated it. I still haven’t figured out why. It’s like when you come back from the bathroom and someone says loudly, You put on lipstick!

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