Girl Detective

I don’t like Season 3 of Battlestar Galactica, either. I’m bored. I’m annoyed. I’m not seeing anything new or interesting. I am waiting to see if it gets better, or if I’m done with it. I am strugging to recall anything from the last episode that advanced the storyline on the Galactica. All I saw was a hackneyed plot, repeats of characterizations that have been done better before, and a seemingly random killing off of a minor character. As for the Cylons: the Cylon three-way? Ick. The piano music is enough to drive me away on its own. And what about the baby?!

Baby Guppy is ten months now. He is crawling and pulling himself up. He has teeth and loves to eat. Additionally, like any growing child, he’s decided that the toys I think are best for him are too babyish, so he’s ignoring them and pursuing 3yo Drake’s toys, which are chock-full of chokable bits. He is also fascinated by the top of the stairs, and can get there very quickly. He also isn’t fooled a bit by the “pretty little house” we got to keep him contained and safe from the attention of his older brother. He screams if we put him in it. Even if he didn’t, Drake either climbs in and shows affection in the way that causes G. Grod and me much anxiety. Or Drake opens the door and lets Guppy out. Guppy then crawls to some of Drake’s toys, Drake starts to cry, and takes defensive action, then Guppy cries and needs to be picked up.

I miss my cute, toothless baby who stayed where I put him, and played with the toys I put in front of him. That stage was awesome. Don’t get me wrong; this stage is fun. But it’s a great deal more work for my tired, virus-ridden self.

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”
“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”
“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
“It’s the same thing,” he said.

I am fond of a little treat with breakfast. Are Organic Toaster Pastries

a) an oxymoron
b) plain silly
c) just another form of rationalization?
d) all of the above
e) none of the above

Discuss.

For fans of The Office (US), check out Undeclared. By Judd Apatow, who did Freaks and Geeks and The Forty-Year-Old Virgin, it’s a sitcom about a group of kids in their first year of college. The first few episodes have guest spots by Jenna Fisher and Amy Poehler. It’s funny in the same cringe-inducing, mouth agape way that The Office is. And Loudon Wainwright III is hilarious as Steven’s dad.

Feeling stressed or blue? Feeling like Hugh Laurie on House is just too mean? Then check out Jeeves and Wooster on DVD. The episodes are funny without being cruel, and are good restoratives for the soul. I found both the DVDs and short stories by Wodehouse recommended at Mental Multivitamin, and they’ve been happy additions to my life.

# 51 in my movie challenge for the year. Yet another date night, and we managed to do both dinner and a movie, because the pizza at the newest Punch is ridiculously quick, and decent to boot. My husband G. Grod’s and my second date was Goldeneye, Pierce Brosnan’s debut as Bond. It wasn’t great, but we’ve gone on these eleven years to have a pretty decent relationship in spite of merely OK movies on our first and second dates. (The first was Get Shorty.) But Casino Royale was something I wasn’t expecting: a very good Bond movie. It was fun to watch, it didn’t rely overmuch on gadgets, it had a nice homage to a classic Aston Martin, and it gave Judi Dench a good number of scenes in which to chew up the screen. Daniel Craig makes a very good Bond. He’s fit, he’s handsome, he’s a good actor. My only complaint is that he’s yet a bit long in the tooth to be playing the early-career Bond from this story. But I think it’s a problem inherent in the character. By the time an actor has enough panache to play the worldly Bond, they’re old enough that the three year gap between movies means for a quick obsolescence.

Oh, ouch. Craig is almost the exact same age as I am, even a few days younger. Then again, I’m just a midwestern American mother of two; I have no plans to appear as an action hero anytime soon.

The trouble with buying food as decoration is that eventually it must be used or tossed. I am strangely and strongly opposed to throwing food away, so this usually means coming up with a wacky recipe on the fly to use up as much food as quickly as possible, or cooking several things in a row. For Thanksgiving, I bought organic and mostly local produce: apples, pomegranates, a Fuyu persimmon, a Meyer lemon, a blue hubbard squash, and a red kabocha squash. Yesterday it was clear that the apples, persimmon, and pomegranate couldn’t go one more moment. I cut and steamed the apples, then pureed them in the food mill, forgetting to save a few slices to freeze as teething treats for baby Guppy. The persimmon was so ripe that I simply cut it in half and put it through the food mill. It made a brilliant orange puree. The pomegranate was a giant pain, but I did finally extract all the ruby seeds. This morning I drizzled the persimmon over a bowl of sheep milk yogurt, then sprinkled the pomegranate seeds on top. It was gorgeous, and delicious. It reminded me of food I made for baby Guppy recently. I pureed asparagus, which was a rich, bright green, alongside a Liberty apple with deep red skin that produced a brilliant pink applesauce. Yes, it’s more of a pain to make food from scratch, but the look of of these foods enhances the flavors even further.

#64 in my book challenge for the year was Isabel Allende’s Zorro. A kind friend had an extra ticket to see Allende last month, so I moved Zorro to the top of my reading list. Allende was intelligent, political, and funny in person, so I’m glad I went. But not only could I not finish the book in time for the event, but it took me nearly three weeks to read. I’m not sure if it took so long because of life circumstances (holiday, family visit, nearly constant family viruses) or because I didn’t love the book. Reviews say it’s a page turner with great characterization. I didn’t find it to be either. It’s clear that Allende did a lot of research into the history of the Zorro legend and the time period. While I found the historical details interesting, especially about Spain and the Spanish treatment of the native Americans, I never felt very engaged with the characters. Is it history or coincidence that the clever girl in the story is named Isabel? Additionally, what struck me at the end was how much the character of Batman owes to the legend of Zorro.

The new favorite picture book in our house is AlphaOops! by Alethea Kontis, illustrated by Bob Kolar. (If you follow the link to amazon, be sure to check out the reviews by Alethea’s father and grandmother. They endeared this book even more to me.) It is the kind of book that editors talk about at writing conferences when they say they would never take an alphabet book, unless it were by an established author (like Betsy Cronin’s Click, Clack, Quackity, Quack) or were something fresh and different. This is a great example of taking a completely saturated type (alphabet book) and turning it on its head. The subtitle is “The Day Z Went First” but the book doesn’t simply go backward. The letters have differently personalities and get in fights that are remarkably similar to those of toddlers, especially re: turns and fairness. There is a band along the bottom keeping track of which letters went in the revised order, and many of the example props take an active role in the visual storytelling. The art is clear and engaging, but also so detailed that it compels one to go slowly to read all the visual jokes. This book is funny and clever, and the text and art are a joy to read. For more AlphaOops!, go to the author’s website.

Chowder, by Peter Brown, is another recent favorite. Chowder is an iconoclastic bulldog, who acts more like a person than a dog. When he tries to befriend the animals in a petting zoo, he fails initially but goes on to save the day. Brown’s art is distinctive and well executed, and the typesetting is varied and skillfully done. It’s a good story about finding friends and making family.

Helen Oxenbury’s Tom and Pippo books are out of print! As a lifelong fan of children’s books, I know I should be accustomed to the out-of-print thing, One of my family’s favorite holiday tales, Emmet Otter’s Jug-Band Christmas, has long been out of print even though it was turned into a quite decent holiday special by Jim Hensen. Even so I haven’t become sufficiently inured to learning that a book I want isn’t easy to buy.

The Tom and Pippo books were recommended by a reader, who said that she had an entire collection. Lucky reader! The copies at our library are quite ragged, but they’ll have to suffice for now. I can hope that they come back into print, as sometimes happens with popular authors and illustrators. The simple text coupled with the charming drawings, and the sweet relationship between the boy and his toy monkey should have a wider audience than those of us that comb library shelves and used-book stores.

I gave myself reading challenges last year and this year because I felt like I was not making enough time for one of my favorite pursuits. I demonstrated, at least to myself, that having one small child, and then another, did not mean I had to stop reading. I kept reading, though I did have to make changes, like lowering my expectations on how clean my house was, how frequently laundry was done, how many magazines I subscribed to, how much time I spent on other hobbies, and how much television I watched.

But after a year and a half of devouring books at a healthy clip, I’ve been brought up short. It’s discouraging and humbling. I returned two books from my library request list unread, and am probably going to return an unread new purchase to the store as well. I’ve been plodding through the same book for over two weeks now, and probably only read one book before that this month.

Our family has been hard hit by viruses and sleep deprivation, plus there was a business trip and family visit. I’m hoping the sudden downturn is circumstantial, and will pass. There are too many books I want to read for one book a month to feel like it’s much better than nothing.

One of the memorable sequences from the movie Reality Bites was when the main character, played by Winona Ryder, is asked to define irony. Stymied, she finally blurts, “I know it when I see it!”

A few years later, Alanis Morrissette would have a hit with “The Ironic Song”, though many people commented correctly that some of her examples weren’t ironic, they just sucked.

Dictionary.com says “The essential feature of irony is the indirect presentation of a contradiction between an action or expression and the context in which it occurs.” Wikipedia quotes the American Heritage Dictionary that irony is not “unfortunate coincidences or surprising disappointments that ’suggest no particular lessons about human vanity or folly.’”

This all leaves me wondering. Last week I commented to a friend that I was feeling ground down by the ongoing viruses in the family, as well as the menial childcare tasks like changing poopy diapers. A few days later, Baby Guppy had to go to the emergency room, and was prescribed an antibiotic that caused diarrhea. As I wrote earlier, it likely was a virus, so the antibiotic was probably not necessary.

So which, if any, of these is ironic? I think the new virus and increase in soiled diapers are ironic; I learned that I didn’t have things so bad beforehand. The probably-useless antibiotic, though? I think that one likely just sucks.

This quote by Zadie Smith was excerpted at Boing Boing.

But the problem with readers, the idea we’re given of reading is that the model of a reader is the person watching a film, or watching television. So the greatest principle is, “I should sit here and I should be entertained.” And the more classical model, which has been completely taken away, is the idea of a reader as an amateur musician. An amateur musician who sits at the piano, has a piece of music, which is the work, made by somebody they don’t know, who they probably couldn’t comprehend entirely, and they have to use their skills to play this piece of music. The greater the skill, the greater the gift that you give the artist and that the artist gives you. That’s the incredibly unfashionable idea of reading. And yet when you practice reading, and you work at a text, it can only give you what you put into it. It’s an old moral, but it’s completely true.

It’s a lovely reminder that reading is a skill, and one to be practiced over a lifetime. I frequently heard a dismissive “I didn’t like it” when I taught college composition and asked my students to read an essay. This often meant “I didn’t understand it.” But I’ve heard the same phrase and the same dismissal in disappointing book discussions, when the other readers don’t engage with the text. I heard Cold Mountain called too long, and The God of Small Things too depressing.

When I don’t like a book, I often engage MORE with the text, not less. (See this at Chicklit for an example.) I struggle to ascertain what it is that disappointed me. As I’ve grown as a reader, my criticism has become more complex, just as my interaction with the text has.

I can’t help the uncharitable part of me, though, that wonders if I’m reading too much into the quote. I think it implies Smith thinks she is an artist of great skill who can’t be comprehended entirely by readers. But I’ll squash the part of me that thinks so, and just appreciate her insight into reading.

#63 in my book challenge for the year was To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Learn from my experience: do not re-read your high-school copy. Read an unmarked copy as an adult, and see how your experience of the book is different (or the same) from what you remember. My initial feeling as I read the book was that it was good, but obvious, and that’s why it’s taught in high school. At the end and after discussion, though, I did find the book had more depth than I’d seen at first. It’s overtly about race, but less obviously about class, gender, and the unpleasant, all-too-human tendencies most people harbor under the surface. It’s an indictment of public school education, and of conventional parenting. Its characters change and grow. This book was well worth revisiting, especially after re-reading In Cold Blood.

Baby Guppy had a cold. Then he got an ear infection and was treated with amoxicillin. Then a week went by and he spiked a fever. I assumed he’d had a recurrence of the ear infection. But his ears were clear, as was his chest, but his white blood cell count was high, suggesting a bacterial infection. While we waited for the results of various cultures, he was treated with another antibiotic. He kept being feverish and waking at night, but was happy during the day and when he was fever free. Yesterday, the doc said if he was still feverish today to bring him in. He was at midnight, so we gave him ibuprofen. And that seemed to end the fever.

And then, I spotted some spots. A rash.

D’oh.

Roseola. A virus. High fevers for 3 days or so, then fever breaks, a rash erupts, then goes away, the end. That’s what it probably was.

Still no explanation for the high white count, but the rest seems to be explained.

Drake had this once, and I feel like I should have recognized it again as the non-serious virus it was. The problem (ha! as if there’s only one) is that there is never one cause. Is the fever viral? Bacterial? Is the night waking due to teeth? The answers are rarely clear and definite, though the roseola rash provides a quick retro-diagnosis. I feel like I’m on an episode of House where they never figure out what’s wrong.

Life seems to be leading me lately, rather than me leading a life. Sometimes, I end up with pie. Other times, I end up in the emergency room.

Bad news first. I’ve been telling myself that I’ll get rest once the family is well again. One or more of us has been sick since the end of September. Normally good-natured baby Guppy seems to have an infection, cause unknown. He’s been feverish, fussy, and has long periods of only wanting to be held, and only by G. Grod and me. We didn’t dither on getting him to the doc, but after an ear exam and a chest xray, he had to go to the ER for further tests, which are so far inconclusive.

But about the pie. Last week, I prepared to roast a butternut squash to then puree and freeze for Guppy. But I figured I might as well roast the other two squashes I had, which I’d been using as decorations. One was a hubbard, the other a small pie pumpkin. So I roasted them and pureed the butternut, and the hubbard, and added pumpkin pie spices to the pumpkin when I realized that there was so much of it that I could freeze some for the baby and make a pie with the rest. So I did. And the good news and the bad news are that the pie was awesome. Moist, smooth, silky. I did not, though, want to learn that making pumpkin pie from scratch results in a delicious pie. I’d lived my life up to this point operating under the blissful assumption that making pie from canned pumpkin was just as good and far easier than using fresh pumpkin.

In the case of the pie, though, at least I had a delicious dessert as consolation for hard work, lots of mess, and the disintegration of a life-long belief. But unless Guppy is fever-free by tomorrow, there are more doctor appointments, waiting rooms and tests in our future. I’m having trouble seeing the upside.

I like to invent theories about things. One recent one was that babies aren’t ready for solid food till they get their first tooth. Yet baby Guppy took to solids immediately at six months and only recently got his first tooth at just over nine months. So that theory was disproved. But I noticed that even though he scarfed down purees, he wasn’t able to handle soft pieces of solid food, like banana or Os. He gagged the few times I gave them to him prior to the appearance of his tooth. But after the tooth, he’s had no problem. So my new theory is that babies aren’t ready to move beyond purees till they get a tooth, which signals the ability to chew, or at least actively gum, bits of solid food.

Baby Guppy is no longer content to stay where we put him, and this is also true for his changing table. I put him on his back to change his diaper, and he flips over to his tummy, then tries to crawl off the table. Diaper changes are an unpleasant fact of life, made more difficult when I have to employ strong-arm tactics.

And yet another example of how ridiculous it is when people insist that babies have built-in survival mechanisms. Babies don’t always act in their own best interests, which is why it’s good they have these things called parents.

#50 in my movie challenge for the year was The Matador, with Pierce Brosnan, Greg Kinnear, and Hope Davis, who are all very good in this. It’s darkly funny, slightly strange, and good, but not great. Brosnan plays an aging assassin, and Kinnear is the nice guy who accidentally befriends him. It was enjoyable, and playfully subverted Brosnan’s more usual role of the distinguished leading man.

Baby Guppy finally stopped pivoting on his considerable belly and is crawling at 9m+. He is also using the pincer grasp to pick up things. Both of these are typical developmental milestones. What’s discouraging is that he’s combining these to move away from where I set him, then pick things up off the floor and put them in his mouth. I caught him eating individual coffee grounds yesterday. I’m pretty sure those aren’t recommended for babies.

Here’s what’s on the menu this year at our house. Most recipes below, with attributions. The tenderloin and sweet potato recipes are in the current issue of Cook’s Country.

Oven-Roasted Tenderloin with Parmesan Herb Crust
Creamy Mashed Potatoes
Corn Muffins
Savory Corn Pudding
Sugar-Glazed Roasted Carrots
Deviled Eggs
Mashed Sweet Potatoes
Impossible Pumpkin Pie

Creamy Mashed Potatoes, from Cook’s Country 10/2006

This recipe can be cut in half, if desired. Serves 8 to 10
4 pounds Yukon Gold potato , peeled
12 tablespoons unsalted butter , cut into 6 pieces
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
2 teaspoons Salt

1. Cut potatoes into 3/4-inch slices. Place potatoes in colander and rinse under running water, tossing with hands, for 30 seconds. Transfer potatoes to Dutch oven, add water to cover by 1 inch, and bring to boil over high heat. Reduce heat to medium and boil until potatoes are tender, 20 to 25 minutes.

2. Meanwhile, heat butter and heavy cream in small saucepan over medium heat until butter is melted, about 5 minutes. Keep warm.

3. Drain potatoes and return to Dutch oven. Stir over low heat until potatoes are thoroughly dried, 1 to 2 minutes. Set ricer or food mill (see box below) over large bowl and press or mill potatoes into bowl. Gently fold in warm cream mixture and salt with rubber spatula until cream is absorbed and potatoes are thick and creamy. Serve.

Savory Corn Pudding, Cook’s Country 12/2005

Serves 8 to 10
1 tablespoon unsalted butter , softened, for greasing casserole dish
Table salt
6 cups frozen corn
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
6 large eggs , lightly beaten
1 1/2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 tablespoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
3 tablespoons chopped fresh basil

1. Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 2-quart casserole dish with butter. Bring large kettle of water to boil for water bath. Bring 2 quarts water to boil in large saucepan for corn.

2. Add 1 tablespoon salt and corn to boiling water and cook for 1 minute. Drain in colander and dry with paper towels. Pulse 4 cups corn in food processor until rough puree forms, about ten 1-second pulses. Transfer to large bowl and stir in remaining whole corn, 1 teaspoon salt, cream, eggs, cheese, sugar, cayenne, and basil until combined.

3. Pour corn mixture into casserole and transfer dish to roasting pan. Pour boiling water from kettle into roasting pan until it comes halfway up sides of casserole dish. Place roasting pan in oven and bake until pudding is set and a few brown spots appear around edges, 40 to 45 minutes. Remove casserole from water bath, transfer to wire rack, and let set for 5 to 10 minutes before serving.

Make Ahead:

The corn can be cooked, processed, and mixed with the whole corn, salt, cream, cheese, sugar, and cayenne up to 2 days in advance. Refrigerate until ready to use, then stir in the eggs and basil when ready to cook.

Sugar-Glazed Roasted Carrots, Cook’s Country 2/2006

If the carrots have very narrow tips, trim the thin ends; they scorch easily.

Serves 4 to 6
1 1/2 pounds medium carrots , peeled and cut into 2 by 1/2-inch pieces, (see related Tip)
2 tablespoons unsalted butter , melted
1 tablespoon dark brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon table salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

1. Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 475 degrees. Heat rimmed baking sheet in oven for 10 minutes.

2. Toss carrots, melted butter, sugar, salt, and pepper in medium bowl until thoroughly combined. Remove pan from oven and place carrots in single layer on hot baking sheet. Roast until carrots are beginning to brown on bottom, about 15 minutes.

3. Remove pan from oven, toss carrots to redistribute, and continue to roast until tender and deep amber in color, about 3 minutes. Serve.

Deviled Eggs, Cook’s Country 4/2006

To center the yolks, turn the carton of eggs on its side in the refrigerator the day before you plan to cook the eggs.

Makes 1 dozen filled halves
6 large eggs
2 tablespoons mayonnaise
1 tablespoon sour cream
1/2 teaspoon distilled white vinegar
1/2 teaspoon spicy brown mustard (such as Gulden’s)
1/4 teaspoon sugar
1/8 teaspoon table salt
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper

1. Place eggs in medium saucepan, cover with 1 inch of water, and bring to boil over high heat. Remove pan from heat, cover, and let stand 10 minutes. Meanwhile, fill medium bowl with 1 quart water and 1 dozen ice cubes. Pour off water from saucepan and gently shake pan back and forth to crack shells. Transfer eggs to ice water with slotted spoon and let cool 5 minutes.

2. Peel eggs and slice in half lengthwise. Transfer yolks to fine-mesh sieve and use spatula to press them through sieve and into bowl. Add remaining ingredients, mashing mixture against sides of bowl until smooth.

3. Arrange whites on serving platter and fill with yolk mixture, mounding filling about 1/2 inch above whites. Serve immediately.

Make Ahead

You can make the deviled eggs up to 2 days ahead. Wrap the peeled egg-white halves tightly with a double layer of plastic wrap and place the filling in a zipper-lock plastic bag (squeezing out all the air). Refrigerate until ready to fill and serve.

Corn Muffins, Cook’s Illustrated 9/2002

Whole-grain cornmeal has a fuller flavor than regular cornmeal milled from degerminated corn. To determine what kind of cornmeal a package contains, look closely at the label.

Makes 12 muffins
2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (10 ounces)
1 cup fine-ground, whole-grain yellow cornmeal (4 1/2 ounces)
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon table salt
2 large eggs
3/4 cup granulated sugar (5 1/4 ounces)
8 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 stick), melted
3/4 cup sour cream
1/2 cup milk

1. Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 400 degrees. Spray standard muffin tin with nonstick cooking spray.

2. Whisk flour, cornmeal, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in medium bowl to combine; set aside. Whisk eggs in second medium bowl until well combined and light-colored, about 20 seconds. Add sugar to eggs; whisk vigorously until thick and homogenous, about 30 seconds; add melted butter in 3 additions, whisking to combine after each addition. Add half the sour cream and half the milk and whisk to combine; whisk in remaining sour cream and milk until combined. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients; mix gently with rubber spatula until batter is just combined and evenly moistened. Do not over-mix. Using an ice cream scoop or large spoon, divide batter evenly among muffin cups, dropping it to form mound. Do not level or flatten surface of mounds.

3. Bake until muffins are light golden brown and skewer inserted into center of muffins comes out clean, about 18 minutes, rotating muffin tin from front to back halfway through baking time. Cool muffins in tin 5 minutes; invert muffins onto wire rack, stand muffins upright, cool 5 minutes longer, and serve warm.

Impossible Pumpkin Pie

1 15-oz. can pumpkin
1 1/2 c. milk, or 1 13-oz. can evaporated milk
1/2 c. biscuit/pancake mix or 1/2 c. flour plus 3/4 tsp. baking powder
1 c. sugar
2 Tbl. butter, melted then cooled
2 large eggs, beaten
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. ground ginger
1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. ground cloves

Preheat oven to 350F. Grease a 9-inch glass or Pyrex pie plate.

Place all ingredients in blender; blend for 2 minutes. Pour mixture into pie plate and bake for about an hour, or till center is set and tester comes out clean. Cool. Serve with vanilla or ginger ice cream, or vanilla or maple whipped cream.