Girl Detective

Three years ago when I shopped for a single stroller I didn’t feel there was a lot of consumer information on which to base a purchase. Yet the dearth that there was (a scanty comparison by Consumer Reports, a decent comparison in Baby Bargains, and highly unreliable personal accounts online) came to seem a relative abundance when my husband and I began to research double strollers recently.

Most feedback favors the side by side instead of the inline style, both for maneuverability and so that both children can see. We first checked out the Combi Twin Savvy and the Maclaren Twin Traveller. Both seemed fine for light, mostly indoor use. I walk a lot, though, and one of the things I like about our neighborhood is that we’re within a mile of our grocery store and two libraries, so I need something that can go up and down curbs, over rough sidewalks, and through the snow. Neither the Combi nor the Maclaren looked up to this kind of travel, so we looked at jogging strollers instead.

The less expensive jogging strollers have a fixed front wheel. In order to change direction, you have to press down on the back wheels so the front one lifts up, then adjust the front. This would be fine if I were running in mostly a straight line.

Pivoting wheels on a double jogging stroller solve the maneuverability problem, but just about double the average price. While the Maclaren, Combi, and fixed-wheel models are priced between about $200 and $350, pivoting-front wheelers start at over $500. We found three models: the Bob Revolution Duallie, the Mountain Buggy Urban Double and the Phil and Ted Twin. Fortunately, we found a good local store, Baby Grand, that carried all three models so we could compare them in person, since information on the web was sometimes sketchy (Phil and Ted don’t even have info on the twin model on their website. Their E3 double is great in theory, and apparently the big thing in NYC, but we want Guppy to have a view other than that of Drake’s bum.)

The Bob has only a single front wheel, and is the least expensive at just over $500. The Mountain Buggy and the Phil and Ted have double front wheels, cost over $600, and are significantly (about 40 cm) shorter in length than the Bob. All three are comparable in width and fit through most doorways. The Bob has the best canopy coverage, and would not require anything additional for sunscreen. You could also access your kid through the back of the canopy, which could be very useful. Both the Mountain Buggy and the Phil and Ted have short, inadequate canopies that are most likely designed so that one also purchases the extended cover, at about $75, making them even more expensive. The Phil and Ted had a forward center of gravity, which made it harder to lift the front wheels than on the other two. We came very close to choosing the Bob, because of its price, its canopy and its overall function, but in the end went with the Mountain Buggy because the seats on the Bob don’t recline. The Bob is better for two children of the same age, or at least two older children, not one like our Guppy who’s only a few weeks old. The Bob also had a more detailed restraint. It was more a stroller for a true runner than for someone like me, who merely walks a lot in the city.

I’ve taken the Mountain Buggy out twice now, and it handles like a dream. Going up and down curbs is easy, and both boys enjoy the ride. We ordered a canopy extender rather than what Mountain Buggy offered, and while it annoys me to have to spend so much more when the Bob had such a great canopy included, I did appreciate that I could have Guppy sitting up, supported by a Snuzzler, or lying down when asleep, which I would not be able to do with the Bob.

I’ve written before that I do not want this site to be a mommy blog, but if you look at my recent infrequent posts, I know that’s what it looks like. I’m not going to apologize, though. It’s just that the mom stuff is very front and center for me now that we have a new baby in addition to a two year old. Their needs are often necessarily in advance of mine, and blogging falls pretty low on Maslow’s hierarchy, though I’m sure Maslow’s list for a mom of a new baby is different from the general one. For instance, need for sleep now trumps need for food, and Maslow doesn’t even mention the need for a shower.

A Mom’s Credo has been banging about in my head like Athena, though, and I think it encapsulates a lot of what this weblog is about, and why I write it:

Be I sleep deprived, covered in spit up, unshowered, and clinging to my last frayed nerve, I will continue to pursue a life of mind. My own needs are physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. I may need to delay my own fulfillment of these needs to meet more immediate ones of my children, but I refuse to forego them.

***

For example, I resume this after fetching a crying Guppy after his nap, waking Drake from his nap, and putting on a sling, in which I now nurse the baby while typing one handed.

My friend Blogenheimer posted this link to The Online Film Critics Society’s Top 100 Overlooked Films of the 1990s. Curiously, the list doesn’t state what the “overlooked” criteria are, but since there are many movies on the list I haven’t even heard of, I won’t quibble about it. I’ve seen a little more than a third of the movies on the list, and agree that they were worthwhile, even if it was only in a ‘I liked this movie because of this specific thing’ way.

One of my husband G. Grod’s favorites–the Coen Brothers’ Miller’s Crossing–leads off the list. Particular favorites of mine include 45. My Neighbor Totoro, 63. Croupier, 75. Bottle Rocket, 86. The Secret of Roan Innish, and 99. Titus.

I do, though, quibble at the inclusion of Steven Soderbergh’s The Limey. It was a very good film, but not as good, and not as overlooked, as his previous one, Out of Sight, starring current media darling George Clooney and an actress who many believe can’t act, though I believe Out of Sight proves them wrong. Out of Sight also stars the very talented Don Cheadle.

Now that he’s a big brother AND he’s two, Drake continues to exhibit some strong opinions and spectacular tantrums if he doesn’t get his way. Of late, there are a few things that my husband G. Grod and I are no longer able to do if Drake is in the vicinity. He insists on doing them, and throws a spectacular tantrum if we don’t let him, or if, out of habit, we forget and do these simple things ourselves: flush the toilet (though he still refuses to use the toilet); use the microwave; put the lid on his sippy cup; and even more random, pass a burp cloth.

In some ways, though, these are easy to handle, because Drake is consistent about them. He ALWAYS wants to do them himself. Other things sometimes bother him and sometimes don’t, like turning the pages of books, opening the garage door, and unlocking the car.

Monday was supposed to be the first day of new life as usual, but Minnesota got a blizzard with about 10 inches of snow in about as many hours, so G. Grod’s bus wasn’t running to work and he had a snow day. Plus we have kind friends who are bringing us dinner, so we’re hardly left to our own devices.

Getting computer time at all is hard, and having time to write is even harder. And thinking of something quasi-intelligent to say? Ha. I’ve had two very bad nights in a row. I don’t think Guppy has colic, but he is definitely having more trouble at night than during the day. I hold him in the dark, and whimper, “Please, please, just go to sleep.” He’ll usually be up for the two hour feeding interval between 11 and 1, then I’ll get an hour or so between the next few intervals when he wakes at 3, 5 and 7. Someone once told me that sleep deprivation is cumulative, and I’m feeling five weeks of it.

I’ve meant to chronicle some of the firsts as I went. I spent the two weeks after he was born mostly in PJs, only getting dressed to take Guppy for his 1-week checkup. My first solo outing was to the grocery coop. My first outing with Guppy alone was in the stroller to the coffee shop. I took both boys to an indoor gym playdate a few days later. I got there 15 minutes before it ended, but by goodness, I got there. G. Grodd and I went out for birthday sushi. Guppy was in the car seat, and he slept through the entire meal, in spite of slow service. Next, all four of us went to the coffee shop. Then last Friday I put Drake in the stroller and Guppy in the Bjorn and we walked to the coffee shop, the park, the pizza place and home. My next challenge will be taking both boys either to the coop or to Target by myself. I’m in no rush, and I don’t fool myself that it won’t be difficult. Drake is doing pretty well with the big brother thing, but he is throwing some truly spectacular tantrums over some truly trivial things of late, so we’re taking care not to push things.

As for me and the sleep deprivation, I realized yesterday, after he got sopping wet, that I’d put pants on Drake but forgot his diaper. Oops.

In spite of it all, though, I’m managing to get some reading, movies and TV. I’m still ruminating on the last few episodes of Battlestar Galactica, and peeved that I have to wait till October for new ones. I think I’ll try to get some one-line reviews up when I get a chance. Or if I get a chance. Sigh.

One of the intake questions at the hospital where I gave birth was, “Are you under any stress at home, such as a remodeling project?”

Well, um, yeah, we had to admit. The day before I went into labor we’d had an electrician install a heater in our basement bathroom and expand our electric box, the day after labor we had a new washer and dryer delivered, and prior to the baby’s due date we’d hoped to have our old sink removed and a new one plus a dishwasher installed. Alas, Guppy had other plans, which put the sink plans on hold until yesterday.

The last of our out-of-town family visitors left on Sunday. Sink demolition began the day after. While we continue to put off starting whatever life will be as a family of four, we are very much looking forward to having a dishwasher.

As you may have guessed, I haven’t posted recently because I gave birth to Drake’s little brother. I went in for my 38 week checkup on Tuesday the 7th with contractions that went from about 5 minutes apart to about 3 minutes apart while I was there. The doc said I could go home to collect my husband and my things, but then I was due at the hospital. My husband’s ride home from work kindly dropped him off at the clinic rather than at home so he could pick up me and our car. My sister Sydney was staying with us to help with Drake.

We got to the hospital about 6:30. I was in labor for another 5 hours or so, everything going great, using my hypnobirthing techniques and breathing, and certain that I was ready push. Then the nurse checked me, and I was only dilated to 4, a mere half centimeter more than I’d been on admittance. That was a low, low moment. I did all the usual cliches–begged for drugs, cried that I was tired, in pain and couldn’t do it, but my husband, doula and the nurse kept assuring me that I was doing it, and just before 3 am I gave birth, having had no drugs. I still can’t believe I did it. Those last few hours are indescribable in a difficult way. The moment of his birth is indescribable in an entirely different way. We had no problems of positioning, elevated heart rate or meconium as we did with Drake. I did end up with two smallish tears, but nothing like last time. The new guy was 8 pounds,2 ounces and 21 1/2 inches long, in spite of arriving two weeks before his due date.

He sleeps a lot, though not necessarily between 11pm and 6 am, and is napping on my chest in a sling as I type. We finally revealed his name to family and friends; we’d kept it a closely guarded secret. Both his first and middle names were ones that we liked and that are also, incidentally, family names. For the purposes of the blog, though, I’ll call him Guppy.

We’re all tired but doing well. Posts may be a bit sporadic in the coming weeks, but I’ll do what I can, when I can.

Well, yes, at nine months pregnant I am rather larger than I was previously, but still, as I waddle about, struggling with heartburn, hip and back pain, and various other unpleasantries, it doesn’t help to be reminded.

I remind myself, though, that I’m in the home stretch of this pregnancy that’s been less than smooth. My definition of annoying has had to expand a lot, encompassing everything that’s not outright dangerous. Soon, I’ll have a whole different set of issues.

The important things to remember, though, are that I’m healthy, and Drake’s imminent sibling seems healthy, too. I’m going to try and keep us that way through labor and delivery.

Lately I am frustrated that I am less active and less creative–writing both for the blog and on my novel has been difficult. The only thing I don’t have trouble writing is lists. Yet I know this is a phase. Conventional wisdom says I’m nesting. I’m feeling very inward and static, which is yin, according to Chinese philosophy. I will swing back to the complementary yang eventually, expanding once again creatively and intellectually.

#13 in my movie challenge for the year was Lawrence Kasdan’s western, Silverado. The good guys are all very good. The bad guys are all very bad, and further, they all wind up dead by the end. Sorry if I’m spoiling anything for you. This movie contains every plot point from every western, yet its energy and good will let it transcend cliche. A young Kevin Costner plays a charming, immature cowboy. This was apparently Kasdan’s way of apologizing for cutting him out of The Big Chill almost entirely. (Costner played the dead guy, whose funeral was the occasion for everyone else to get together. They filmed scenes with him, but none made it into the final cut.) Silverado isn’t a great film, but it’s a good movie with a good heart that’s a lot of fun to watch.

I’m getting slammed with spam, here. My tech support, ahem, husband, has changed the setting so that your comments may not appear immediately. Sorry. Once we get over our spam crisis, we’ll try to return to real-time comments!

#12 in my movie challenge for the year was Nicholas Nickleby, which was highly praised by Roger Ebert when it came out years ago. My husband and I watched it over two nights. We enjoyed the first part, but then my new film guide arrived and I read a scathing review. We didn’t enjoy the second half nearly so much. Did the review jinx it, or did the weaknesses of the film become more apparent? In any case, don’t bother.

#11 in my movie challenge for the year was a challenging film, Terence Malick’s The New World. I heard several people on their way out say, “I didn’t get that movie.” I don’t think it’s inaccessible, but it requires something on the part of the filmgoer in order to appreciate it. As is typical of Malick’s films, The New World is beautifully filmed, and centers on themes of human violence in the midst of idyllic natural scenes. Colin Farrell as Captain John Smith is a maddening anti-hero in the spirit of Hamlet–introspective, hesitant and passive. Music is deftly deployed. I found it a little too romantically fixated on the natives. Overall, though, this was a beautiful, provocative film and I’m glad I made the effort to see it in theater rather than at home.

#10 in my movie challenge was Walk the Line, which I saw in theater, and has one of the best film posters of recent years. The movie didn’t fit exactly with its trailers–it’s more a chronicle of Cash’s general decline than it is a love story. I can understand why Roseanne Cash walked out of the screening; whether or not it’s largely “true,” it’s often painful to watch. Phoenix and Witherspoon are talented and charming as the leads. The music is great, the prison scene powerful, and this movie made me wish for a time machine. Why? To go back to a show that featured Cash, Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis, and others playing together. That would’ve been a hell of a show.

#8 in my book challenge for the year was A Long Way Down, sent to me by kind reader V. who had an extra copy. It’s about four people who meet on New Year’s Eve at the top of a building. They all intend to jump, but don’t. The story rotates through their four voices, each of which is distinct. The book is dark, funny and human. Some dismiss Hornby as light reading, but I feel he has a talent for illuminating difficult emotional aspects of characters that gives his work more than average heft.

Or do this year’s Oscar nominations not seem like complete crap?

Perhaps 2005 was just a really good year for movies.

I am baffled, though, by William Hurt’s supporting nominatino for A History of Violence. There were good things about that film; he wasn’t one of them.

#9 in my movie challenge for the new year was Nausicaa, the animated classic by Hayao Miyazaki. Like most Miyazaki films, it features a smart, brave young girl who is often wiser than the corrupt adults who surround her. This also features other Miyazaki trademarks, such as warnings about the environment and disrespect of nature, and grand, industrial flying machines. The voice talent in the new adaptation is suberb, and helps bring this powerful eco-fable to life. It’s a beautiful story that is beautiful to look at. Here, now, is the kind of princess that little girls should aspire to be.

#8 in my movie challenge for the year was Made, with Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau, directed by the latter. I think this was recommended by someone in the wake of Wedding Crashers as another good movie with Vaughn. I disagree. This movie is just over 90 minutes, but Vaughn’s over-the-top annoying character is so excruciating to watch that the first hour is so painful to watch that my husband and I nearly gave up. I think it was Nigel St. Hubbins who said that there’s a fine line between clever and stupid. There’s also a fine line between funny and painful, and too often Made is on the wrong side. The last half hour, in which Vaughn is less obtrusive and Favreau comes into his own as a mensch, didn’t redeem the film entirely, but did mitigate the pain of what went before.

#7 in my movie challenge for the year was the new adaptation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. When I first saw the trailer for this movie, I thought Keira Knightley was too pretty to play every-woman Lizzie, and I thought the music in the trailer overwrought and obtrusive. Since I love the story, though, and since it was well-reviewed, I went to see it anyway. It was worth seeing, though it had some flaws.

First, I was wrong about Knightley. While she is quite pretty, her infectious smile and laughter made her a good fit for smart, funny Lizzie. Further, the Bennet household was believably shabby, while the Bennet daughters wore dresses that got dirty in realistic ways. Much has been made of Donald Sutherland as Mr. Bennet, Brenda Blethyn as Mrs. B, and Dame Judi as Lady Catherine. They are established actors who do good work in these meaty roles. What impressed me more, though, was Claudie Blakley, who was allowed to look convincingly plain as Charlotte Lucas. She also gave this more minor character a depth unseen in other productions. Tom Hollander did an admirable turn as the toady-ing Mr. Collins.

The less effective elements, though, were several. Matthew MacFadyen as Darcy was stiff, angry and handsome enough to be good, but not nearly as smolderingly sexy as Colin Firth, who so embodied Darcy in the 1995 production that he may have made the role unplayable by other men. MacFadyen looked well striding purposefully across a misty field in an open-necked shirt at the end to declare his love (again) to Lizzie, but it was at that point that the music swelled so obnoxiously that the effect was somewhat ruined. As with the 1939 version, I was disappointed by the lack of the famous opening line, and surprised by the many changes to Austen’s very good prose. The ending, though, left me appalled. Darcy and Lizzie are married and alone. He finally kisses her, while intoning “Mrs. Darcy” over and over. This is hardly a fitting ending for Lizzie, who has spent the entire film standing up for herself and her individuality.

#7 in my book challenge for the year was Bungalow Kitchens, since we’re on the verge of updating ours. After flipping through the book, I thought the photos were lovely but didn’t think I’d get much out of the book. The photos had a lot of period reproductions of older kitchens with vintage appliances. We plan to update our kitchen, not make it look like it’s original. Yet we don’t want to plonk a modern-looking kitchen in the midst of our 1917-looking house. Reading the book cover to cover, though, was well worth my time. I learned a lot about bungalows in general, and about design choices in particular. Specifically helpful was the organization of the book by detail, e.g. counters, and the inclusion of information on how to obsessively restore, countered by compromises for modern kitchens. It was also helpful to learn that if we take a restorative tack in our kitchen re-do, then there are lots of things we can rule out, e.g. recessed lighting, thereby limiting the vast number of choices we’d have to make if we were building a kitchen from scratch or renovating a kitchen in a more modern house.

#6 in my movie challenge for the year was Ang Lee’s Brokeback Mountain, which I saw in a theater rather than at home. A lot of people have gone to a lot of trouble to protest that this isn’t a movie about gay lovers. Actually, yes, it is. It is also a universal story about doomed love in a disapproving society. But the lovers are doomed because they’re cowboys in the 1960s. This movie is beautiful to look at, and strongly acted, particularly by Heath Ledger. It had a couple of nice ambiguities. One of them wasn’t how Ledger’s character’s wife found out, though. That happened too quickly and too definitely. It would have had more power if her discovery would have built over time. The subtlety of the rest of the film more than made up for this one detail, though.