Musings, not mommyfestos
Lisa Schmeiser of The Rage Diaries, on how to deal with the recent glut of mommy-related media:
Consider it the editorial form of non-violent protest — non-attention protest. Ignore these spurious mommyfestos. Acknowledging them only gives them what they want, most likely at your expense.
So no mommyfestos from me. Instead, two of the things I’m wrestling with today.
One, how to celebrate the fact that my child is a unique individual, while also acknowledging, to myself and to him, that he’s just like everybody else. The former without the latter means a skewed sense of oneself in relation to the world, like Zaphod Beeblebrox and the fairy cake, from Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe.
Two, how to hold the difficulties lightly and free myself to enjoy parenthood. When my husband and I moved to Minnesota, some of the first advice we got was, “Learn to like winter. Don’t hide inside, or you’ll hate it here.” Those words have stood us well for the nearly seven years we’ve lived here. Now I just need to figure out how to do the same thing with being a mom.
Both things are simple, but neither is easy.
February 28th, 2005 at 4:12 pm
Actually, that’s a good approach to life in general, I’ve found. When things are particularly tough, or the amount to be done appears unmanigable, I’ll sometimes encourage myself by thinking, “there are people who like it crazy. Imagine if I *liked* it like this.” Normally, just the act of looking at the situation as something that someone, somewhere, might prefer is enough to get sufficient distance to handle it.
I can’t decide if that is an enlightened, Taoist-influenced thing, or a very Lake Wobegon Lutheran way of seeing it. Maybe both.
March 1st, 2005 at 2:52 pm
Balance is an ideal not just in religions but also in science. In fact, I’m having trouble thinking of an arena in which balance isn’t a good thing.