Different
You know that experience when you read something, and it’s like the author peeked into your head? I had that today.
From “Neurodiversity and Fandom” by Jason Henninger at Tor.com. (Link via The Morning News.)
School is starting up soon. My son used to attend a preschool/kindergarten for special-needs kids and their siblings, and now he’s going on to a public school, though still in the special education program. He’s cool with it, but I am a little freaked. It has brought up a whole childhood can of worms regarding my less-than-lovely educational experience, and makes me reflect on issues of social acceptance for neurologically atypical people overall.
Apart from the bit about a preschool for special-needs kids, I could have written this paragraph, because I’ve certainly been thinking and feeling it. My son, 6yo Drake, was given an education label last year of autism spectrum disorder. He’d been having some trouble at preschool, like not participating in music, which prompted us to get an evaluation. The public-school team was quick to note this didn’t mean he “had” autism–that would be a medical diagnosis, and is a different evaluation path–just that he had some behaviors that would be helped by autism-related therapies or classes. Drake attended a communication class once a week, and had an occupational therapist and special ed teacher visit him in preschool. And over the next several months, his behavior and communication bloomed.
This year, he’s going to kindergarten. Only one school in our neighborhood is part of the citywide autism program, and it’s where we’ve been encouraged by his educational team to send him. Given our positive experience already, I’ve taken their advice. I’ll meet with that team tomorrow, when Drake and I go to visit the autism classroom, his kindergarten classroom, and meet his teachers. And on Thursday, he’ll get on the bus (the big one, not a short one like last year) and go to school.
My own public school experience was not good. I was a bored and frustrated student, and I struggled socially. (I suspect there are aspects of ADD and ASD in my own neurological makeup.) So I’m nervous about sending my kid to school, that he’ll feel as bad about it as I did. I feel guilty, too, at the relief I feel because he’s going to be at school all day, which will make my day less challenging.
But Henninger’s essay offers me a little hope. There’s a greater awareness of difference, and a greater understanding and acceptance of it. It’s not to say that the prejudice toward kids who are “a little different” won’t exist; it will. But it helps to be reminded that a lot of these kids are getting kinds of help that didn’t exist thirty-five years ago when I started kindergarten. Plus, Drake is not me. Similar, yes, but not the same.
I can only do what I have done already: make the best guess I can as to what’s best for Drake, give it a try, and make a new plan if it doesn’t work. Now, we wait and see. Involve ourselves as we can in his education. And hope.
September 2nd, 2009 at 7:35 am
My youngest son was diagnosed as ADD (rigorous testing through Children’s in Mpls.), and while he was being tested, I kept looking at the test questions and thinking, but that’s me. That’s me. Makes sense, I guess. The good news is, public education is a completely different animal than it was when you and I went. (Well, except for the Anoka-Hennepin District!) In general, it seems like teachers are much more aware and willing to work with kids who are slightly “off center” and not simply label them lazy, troublemakers, etc., or ignore their social difficulties. Granted, it varies from teacher to teacher, but overall, there’s more awareness. I’ll never forget seeing a first-grade teacher at my son’s school–and it’s sad she had to do this–pulling a group of little girls aside and doing an anti-bullying talk with them. Yeah, the girl stuff can start pretty early these days. {shudder}