Bad News/Good News
The bad news is that I have post-partum depression. The good news is that I’m working with a doctor and a therapist to treat it and try to bring some balance back to life. It turns out that feeling tired, frustrated, and angry after having a baby may be normal, but it’s still a good idea to get it checked out.
On the theme of balance, I offer three depressing things (meta depression?) and three good things about depression:
Depressing things about being depressed:
1. I’m even more likely than previously to take things personally
2. Being on the wrong dose of an anti-depressant provides side-effects, but no benefits
3. Answering the diagnostic questions truthfully, especially those about whether I think about harming myself or my kids, makes me feel like a failure, and a deadbeat mom.
Good Things:
1. I’ve decided to take nothing personally unless someone says something to me directly.
2. Side effects go away, and the right dose of an AD builds my reserves, and reminds me of my former, more balanced state.
3. I have been heartened by how responsive doctor, family and friends have been. I am also proud of myself for not dithering about getting help, or quibbling about the advice I’ve gotten. All of these have helped lessen the severity of a discouraging situation.
I hesitated about writing about this here–too personal, too controversial, too trite. Yet writing helps at least me, and might even help someone else, too.