Trying to Avoid a Darwin Award

Darwin Awards are given to silly humans who behave foolishly enough to remove themselves from the gene pool. Before having kids, I thought the warning on plastic bags was ridiculous–that’s common sense; what idiot wouldn’t know to keep bags away from a kid?! Since having kids, I think it’s a good idea. My kids LOVE plastic bags–they’re crinkly and they float! The other day, 3yo Drake was playing with one while I supervised. I turned my back for the proverbial one second, then heard him say, “Mom, look at me!” What I turned back, he had the bag over his head. I shouted No over and over, and then we had the talk about how mommy wasn’t mad, just scared, etc.

Drake’s other new behavior is to take a whisk or butter knife off the counter, open the toaster oven, stick in the utensil and start banging. We’ve taken to unplugging it, but haven’t yet found a positive way to discourage him.

The good news is that the behavior will change. There are things he used to do that I thought he’d do forever, and then he stopped, like insisting on being the one to use the microwave and flush the toilet. The bad news is that there will probably always be some annoying, dangerous thing he wants to do. I just hope the bag and toaster phase ends soon.

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