Parenting Books

I read several parenting books before and after my son Drake was born. Almost without exception, they would make me feel anxious, incompetent, or both. I got rid of the What to Expect… books because they aggravated me so much. I kept one or two others, but over time I hardly refer to them at all. There was only one baby book that I liked, Baby 411 by Ari Brown and Denise Fields. It was a reference book, not meant to be read cover to cover. It was practical and often funny. Best of all, I never felt anxious or incompetent after reading it. Just better informed.

One of the problems I had with the baby books were the lists of developmental milestones. Reading these usually led to me feeling anxious if Drake hadn’t yet achieved a milestone by such and such an age. One of the great things about ignoring the books, though, is that I can now appreciate new skills of Drake’s that don’t get mentioned.

Recently, for example, he is experimenting with walking backwards, on level ground, and up and down stairs. When he does go forward down the stairs holding my hands, he alternates his feet, clearly wanting to do it like we do. Periodically, I see him in a yoga pose, like Bridge, Hero, Downward Dog or Locust. The other night he did Upward Dog in the bathtub. I have never done yoga in front of him; I have not taught him these poses.

Yes, he’s not talking as much as other kids his age. Our doctor told us not to worry and to keep an eye on it, so we are. Not worrying lets me keep an eye on the cool stuff, like baby yoga. I ignore the parenting books and instead try to nurture the small voice of my own parenting instinct. I’m much happier that way. I’m pretty sure that Drake is, too.

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