The World According to Drake, 5 years old
On seeing that our new 16 month calendar started with September 2008.
Drake: We have to fast-backward the world.
(This took a while for me to figure out he meant rewind.)
Me: Only Superman can do that, honey.
Drake pauses, thinks: Is Superman real?
G. Grod: Sorry, bud. He’s a story.
Upon learning that the Hot Wheels set he wanted cost $20, more than he had in his piggy bank.
Drake: I need a money Halloween so I can buy the Triple Stunt Starter Set.
Me: Money Halloween?
Drake: Yeah, I go to the houses and instead of candy they give me money.
Me: Sorry, there’s no such thing as money Halloween. Try writing to Santa.
When 2yo Guppy wouldn’t play tackle.
Drake: Mom, we need a new child.
Me, laughing.