“The Three-Martini Family Vacation” by Christie Mellor

I purchased Christie Mellor’s Three-Martini Family Vacation in advance of our first full-on family trip. I haven’t yet read her previous one, The Three-Martini Playdate, though many of my parent friends have recommended it. I found this a funny, refreshing, if sometimes guilt-inducing, tonic to the current culture of over-parenting. I read it in the car to and from the beach in lieu of entertaining my kids in the backseat. I presumed, correctly, they could manage a 30 to 60 minute drive.

Trust me, there is never going to be the “perfect time” to go on a vacation, and if you wait for the ideal moment, you will be old and gray, and too finicky to want to travel anywhere you can’t have your shredded wheat and regular “programs.” Do not wait. Go now.

Traveling with children in tow can be challenging, but so can traveling with anybody who doesn’t want to do exactly what you want to do exactly when you want to do it. It’s annoying, but there you are. You could put a rucksack over your shoulder and abscond in the dead of night, leaving your broken-hearted family to pick up the shattered remnants of their lives without their mommy or daddy, or you could give it a try, and discover that “traveling” and “with children” don’t have to be mutually exclusive.

A few of her key points:

Teach your kids manners, self sufficiency and to be considerate of others as soon as they’re able. You, they, and others will all appreciate it in the long run.

Avoid places full of children, as they tend to be noisy, active, intrusive, and lack the manners mentioned above.

Three-martini parenting isn’t about ignoring your kids. It’s about finding balance between grownup time and kid time. Play with and attend to your kids. Within reason.

As much as possible, eschew social pressure. Remember the best vacations can be simple, cheap and even local.

This is a book one shouldn’t judge till one’s read it. It’s supposed to be humorous and tongue-in-cheek–one of its points is to lighten up. Consider it as a girlfriend’s take-it-or-leave-it advice. Mellor doesn’t pretend or claim to be an expert. She’s just another parent in the trenches, who’s been there and done that.

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