Girl Detective

Yesterday all four of us went to the fair for food and rides. Drake loved it. So if you’re wondering at what age kids really get a fair or something like it, for us it was four (same thing for his birthday party).

G. Grod was less than thrilled that Drake wanted to ride the giant swinging boat ride, but both enjoyed the big ferris wheel. I agreed to go with Drake on the giant slide, which I found disconcertingly fast, though Drake loved it. I decided that discretion was the better part of valor and decided not to try any rides with 18M Guppy. Even the carousel frightened Drake until he was three.

And, oh yes, we did some eating.

Breakfast was Cinnie Minis from Cinnie Smith’s–warm mini cinnamon rolls with cream cheese frosting. CMs have a good amount of cinnamon and sugar, unlike Cinnabon. For protein, we got the Twisted Sister sausage from Sausage Sister n Me. While better than the Uff Da brat, it still wasn’t great. I don’t know if we’re choosing bad menu items, or if they’re off their game this year, since we’ve so enjoyed them previously.

Since we were in the food building, we got Mouth Trap fried cheese curds and fried pickle slices stuffed with cream cheese from The Preferred Pickle. Both of these were hits with the boys, though the ranch dipping sauce for the pickles was overkill, if such a thing is possible at the MN state fair. Exhausted, Guppy took an early nap in the stroller while Drake, G. Grod and I devoured a wild rice/beef hot dog on a stick from the Wild Rice stand in the food building, surprisingly inexpensive for fair food at only $2.50.

I got a lingonberry sno cone. It had too much ice, but the syrup was pleasantly tart and sweet, though I’m not sure I could have distinguished it from cranberry.

We tried Fresh French Fries this year, which didn’t seem markedly better than World’s Best, and had too many short, “bottom of the batch” specimens.

While his brother was on the ferris wheel, Guppy devoured his first Pronto Pup, and I suspect it won’t be his last. Pups are Minnesota’s batter-dipped hot dogs on a stick. Corn dogs are Iowan, you know.

Drake was loathe to share from the cone of Sweet Martha’s chocolate chip cookies, and our glass of milk wasn’t big enough for the four of us. We had a few other unremarkable food stuffs for the ravening kids, like fried cheese on a stick, lemonade, and soft-serve ice cream. By that time, though, it was hot and crowded, and G. Grod had had enough. Drake and I could have probably kept going, but I think we’ll wait till next year. A look at the daily attendance makes it look like the opening day and the first Tuesday are the best bets to beat the crowds.

I visited the fair solo in the morning to catch the cooking demos by local chefs, then brought 4yo Drake back with me in the afternoon. The weather was erratic, but the cooking panels were good, as were the food samples, which I’ll describe along with yesterday’s fair food.

New. Double-dark frozen mocha dipped in chocolate on a stick. Who knew they could improve on the best fair food, the mocha on a stick? Go, Minnesota Farmer’s Union Coffee!

Tom Thumb mini donuts. The most delicious carb bomb in the world. Perfect for breakfast, and I accompanied it with a free sample of Cedar Summit whole milk, my favorite–yay!

Then other free, delicious samples:

Thousand Hills Cattle Co.’s sloppy joe
Pastures a Plenty breakfast link
Pastureland gouda and butter

For the demos, JP Samuelson, of JP American Bistro, did a coconut curry with rock shrimp and English shell peas. The chefs from the Birchwood Cafe did a summer ceviche. Both were very good, as was a squash, beet and blue cheese soup later in the day.

For lunch I had

Roast Corn. As good as always.
Honey Lemonade from the Ag building. Just $1.

Later with Drake, we had a chocolate custard cone (good, not great) from Custard’s Last Stand, and 1919 root beer, my only repeat foodstuff. Neither impaired our ability to enjoy the carousel, the skyride, or a whirling ride in Kidland.

More fun at the fair to come.

Today was Minnesota Cooks day at the MN State Fair. There were cooking demos by local chefs all day who used mainly local, organic ingredients. There were tasting panels of local farmers and other food-conscious personages (newspaper reporter, senator, Olympic athlete, food critic). There was a tent with lots of information on local food, as well as stunningly tasty free samples: Cedar Summit had cups of milk, Pastures a Plenty had different types of their pork sausage, Thousand Acres Farm had sloppy joe mix, and Pastureland had gouda and buttered crackers.

For further foodie heaven, the on-stage chefs cooked enough for the crowd to sample. I tried a coconut-curry rock shrimp with peas, a lime ceviche with black corn tortilla chip, and a buttercup squash soup with roasted beets and blue cheese. Other local chefs, such as Brenda Langton, interviewed the participants to provide a broad view of local food use, benefits, consumption and availability. It was a wonderful community food event, which took place at the biggest community food event in Minnesota, the state fair.

Aglow with good feeling for my fellow foodies, I followed a link from Arts & Letters Daily based on this teaser:

Imagine an egalitarian world in which all food is organic and local, the air is free of industrial pollution, and vigorous physical exertion is guaranteed. Sound idyllic?

Daniel Ben-Ami, writing for the Spiked Review of Books, examines several of the latest economic books, and decries the trend to criticize prosperity and romanticize simplicity. He correctly asserts, in his well researched and documented article, that things are more complex than many gung-ho, Buy-Local advocates would believe. Yet he doesn’t nuance the other extreme, so his article feels imbalanced.

Privileging the local can be taken to an extreme that would have a negative impact on the economy, and ultimately the lives of many. Ignoring the local would have a different but still negative effect. Ultimately, I think the answer lies in the simple adage, “Think Global, Act Local.” Both global and local are important and neither could exist without the other. That there is a global market has huge benefits on many levels. But supporting local businesses and farms does too. It doesn’t have to be either/or; it’s both/and.

G. Grod and I had a date at the MN State Fair last night. We parked and rode, which was free and not too time consuming. Since we entered near the creative arts building, we checked that out first. There were some cool quilts, like one with Ugly-Doll looking beasties. The sock monkey corner has expanded, but I think the geek pleasure maxed out last year, and this year the monkeys have jumped the shark. (Thanks, Jon Hein, for that term, by the way.)

I found my four baking entries on display among the hundreds of others. I was proud of myself (and G. Grod) for spotting them. I felt like I’d found my kids in a big crowd. The winning entries must have tasted better, because their appearance wasn’t exceptional. The winning brownies looked rather pale and were probably made with Hershey’s cocoa, which doesn’t provide enough chocolate punch for my taste. The winning scones were wedge shaped and denser than mine. The winning banana breads looked very plain–just bananas, or bananas and walnuts. Perhaps my bittersweet shaved chocolate was too risque for the judges in that category. I think I’ll bake again next year, as long as I can have fun with it, try not to care if I win, and minimize my “one more thing” stress-y tendencies.

We went to see Greg Brown, but decided to wander rather than see the whole show. We caught a few songs, which reminded us that he’s a great songwriter with a low voice that draws us in.

Foodwise, the new things we tried were mostly disappointing, while the old faves held up:

Corn fritters and fried green tomatoes with honey butter: the former were savory and sweet, the latter were tangy. The honey butter complemented both. Yum; highly recommended.

1919 root beer: nicely spicy and smooth; highly recommended

New: Uff-da Brat from Sausage Sister N Me: Disappointing. Dry lefse around a decent brat. Perhaps it would be better with the works (mashed potatoes and kraut), but they sounded awfully heavy. The lingonberry ketchup was sweet and bland. Not recommended. Try some of their past winners instead: Puff Daddy on a Stick, or Nacho Sistaaz.

Mouth Trap fried cheese curds: the must-have; greasy, gooey, and a whopping $5 (is that more expensive than last year?) Still, highly recommended.

New: Sundae with Minnesota strawberries: unremarkable. Soft-serve ice cream was stiff and not very flavorful, strawberries were macerated and good, but nothing more. Recommended with reservations.

New: Spam burger (for G. Grod, but I took a bite when he swore it was good): Surprisingly good, in a “I can’t believe I’m eating this, yet I crave another bite” way. Soft bun, salty slab of Spam, gooey cheese=remarkably simple yet tasty combination. Recommended, in spite of myself.

New: Frozen Key Lime Pie on a Stick: Not good. The lime pie was simultaneously bitter and over-sugared. The sweetness did not offset the bitterness, and overwhelmed the chocolate coating, rendering it tasteless. Not recommended.

[I'll try to add links later.]

The snizzly grey weather has me reaching for moody music. Too often, though, I’m listening to some poor guy who came to a bad end: Nick Drake, Chet Baker, Elliott Smith, Jeff Buckley. Today, I listened to Damien Rice’s O, and that suited me well. Sufjan Stevens’s Seven Swans is also a good rainy day record, and I haven’t even delved into the Bright Eyes discs. Any other suggestions on non-destructive artist rainy-day music?

I wonder who the copywriter was who invented the phrase “natural skin tone enhancer” to puff up “self tanner”? Yes it’s my annual attempt at self tanning. The difference is that this year wasn’t a debacle!

L’Oreals Sublime Glow (recommended by Consumer Reports) has rewarded my self-tanner perseverance! (Or at least not punished it. Much.) The beige lotion has a faint, pleasant smell; it doesn’t have the characteristic stink of most self-tanners. It’s got “micro-pearls” so it adds a little glimmer, but isn’t too Princess Sparkle. The color is only barely orange, but mostly light brown. It’s light and gradual enough to look natural, especially on my arms. I’ve had no disasters in the knee, elbow or ankle areas.

This is the best self-tanner I’ve used. It’s not perfect. It’s prone to streaks if you rush over wet skin. But it’s mostly natural-looking color, mostly easy, and not smelly.

It’s that time again. I’m hoping to make it to the MN State Fair three times this year. I’ve learned a few things that will help maximize food and minimize fatigue.

Old Favorites (taught to us by Mr. and Mrs. Blogenheimer, who showed us the glory that is the fair)

- Mouth Trap cheese curds
- World’s Best french fries
- Roast corn
- Sweet Martha’s chocolate chip cookies
- Tom Thumb mini donuts
- 1919 root beer

Newer Favorites

- Frozen Mocha on a Stick (Minnesota Farmers Union Coffee Shop, Dan Patch Avenue at Cosgrove Street).
- Mini cinnamon rolls (Cinni Smiths, Murphy Avenue at Cooper Street).
- Puff Daddy on a Stick (or anything from Sausage Sister & Me, Food Building).
- Wild rice corn dogs, Minnesota Wild Rice, Food Building
- Corn fritters with honey butter
- Cider Freezie
- Honey sunflower seed ice cream

For the husband:

- Red Bull Push-ups, Axel’s, Food Building, southeast corner

This year, based on Rick Nelson’s recommendations, I’m planning to try:

- Key Lime Pie on a Stick
- Sundae with Local Strawberries at the Dairy Goodness Bar
- Lingonberry ice cream at Underwood and Carnes
- Fresh French Fries (Liggett and Carnes, or Judson and Nelson)

My tips for the fair:

- Go early. Go hungry.
- Skip “real” food; it’s heavy and will fill you up. You can make a meal on a combination of the recommendations above.
- Always order the small size, no matter how good a deal a bigger size is.
- Share it, preferably among four (like fair-food tapas).
- Don’t take fair food home; the magic is gone.
- Visit the creative arts and fine arts building. I was not listed in the top five of the baking categories I entered, so I’m going to size up the competition, and see if I want to bake again next year.
- Go once with the kids, and at least once without them.
- Minnesota Cooks day is Tuesday August 28, 2007
- Weather this week is supposed to be good.
- Check out the free Leinie Lodge bandshell shows. There’s usually a gem or two worth seeking out.

Spoilers ahead:

I was shocked, but not really, when Tre was told at the close of episode 9 to pack his knives. His team was cocky even in part 1, and thought they could coast into night 2. Team Quatre took the constructive criticism to heart (though perhaps Howie, not so much, choosing lamb and undercooking it), and worked well together, especially considering how contentious some of their past partnerships has been. I loved Joey’s comment that he knew Howie’s dish because it was undercooked meat.

In the quickfire, Casey choked. I felt bad for her team, especially Brian who’d gotten them such a lead. I laughed in delight to watch Sara and Hung. They were fast but accurate enough, and the challenge was especially suited to Hung’s spastic skills.

As the comments piled up, it became increasingly clear that Tre should go. He was the lead for the team but didn’t galvanize them. Instead, he his cockiness became complacency, like in the Barbecue episode, and his pride led to his fall. Both the salmon and the bread pudding looked and sounded terrible. And the rest of the team was complicit in their loss. They all thought they had it in the bag, they all coasted, but Tre took the fall. While he may have been the best chef left, he was cut for good reason, in my opinion. I had him picked to win, so it will be interesting to see how the rest of the season plays out.

One thing is sure; I’m going to stop trying to guess who is getting cut next, and who will be TC at the end. I called Casey to leave because she was so teary in her sitting commentary shots. Apparently it was because she felt to guilty for letting a team down, again. I don’t think it’s going too far out on a limb to guess that Casey is not going to be Top Chef, though.

You are The Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

If only they weren’t so darn accurate of late.

(Link thanks to A Bland and Deadly Courtesy)

#30 in my 2007 book challenge was Chicken with Plums, a graphic novel by Marjane Satrapi. It details the final days of Nasser Ali, a famous instrumentalist in 1985 Iran. After his beloved tar (a type of lute) is broken, he takes to bed and resolves to die. Each chapter is a day in his march toward death.

I loved Satrapi’s three previous novels, Persepolis (soon to be released as an animated film), Persepolis II, and Embroideries. Chicken with Plums shares many strengths with these works. It includes history of Persia and Iran, meditation on religion, a simplistic art style, and creative use of panels and pages to graphically narrate the story. I found this book much less engaging, though. Nasser Ali is a complex character, at turns deserving of pity and scorn. His wife is similarly pitiable and unlikeable. I didn’t sympathize with either, though. Satrapi’s previous novels were about the lives of girls and women. She made a departure in this to write about the life of one of her male relatives. While an interesting personal project, I didn’t find it as universal as the other books. Recommended, with reservations.

#29 in my 2007 book challenge was the graphic novel My Dead Girlfriend, Volume 1 by Eric Wight. Wight was the ghost artist for Seth Cohen’s character on The O.C.

(I’m having trouble making that last sentence make sense. Adam Brody played Seth Cohen on the show. His character drew comic characters, including Little Miss Vixen. So Wight was the real-life artist who drew the comics for Brody’s fictional character Seth. Got that? Yeah.)

Finney Bleak lives in a goth world. His family is cursed to have interesting deaths. When he falls in love and the girl later stands him up, he seems like a typical geeky high-school boy. As the title suggests, though, there are some interesting surprises for him.

The book is published by Tokyopop, though it feels in story and art more manga-influenced than manga, though I know that’s a debate that can rage forever. I also saw a lot of Garry Trudeau’s Doonesbury in the expressions around the characters’ eyes.

Wight’s art style is distinctive and likeable. I found it much more engaging than the story, which was merely good, though it is an interesting riff on teen alienation. Funny and slightly bittersweet, the book will appeal to fans of both young-adult novels, dark fantasy, goth and manga.

For a lighter, younger walk on the goth side, check out Andi Watson’s latest effort, Glister, from Image Comics. Glister Butterworth is a sassy girl, around whom strange things happen. In issue one, she’s called on to type up the unfinished novel of a ghost. Along the way, she uncovers the truth about a curious teapot. Glister is all ages, fun, and funny. My 4yo son Drake loves both the book as an object, and for paging through to look at the art.

I recommend both My Dead Girlfriend and Glister.

#28 in my 2007 book challenge was And Then One Day, the collected autobiographical comic strips by Ryan Claytor. Truthfully, I bought this because he was on tour at my comic store for a signing; no one was there; he seemed nice; the art looked good; and I felt sorry for him.

I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed the book. Claytor’s book has an “aw-shucks” nice-guy normalcy that stands out among the often aggressively dark, and alienated indie-comic crowd. He does a strip a day, much like James Kochalka’s Sketchbook Diaries. He lacks Kochalka’s sometimes off-putting weirdness, though he’s not quite as kookily charming, either. Claytor’s art style is strongly drawn, distinctive, and accessible. I think it will appeal to those who like Alex Robinson, as well as daily comic-strip fans.

At $10, I thought the small book was expensive, but the colored, textured gatefold cover and the upscale offset printing of the heavy, cream-colored inner pages make for a high-quality, attractive, easy-to-read book. Recommended.

#27 in my 2007 book challenge was Michael Chabon’s novella The Final Solution. The title is a play on Conan Doyle’s final Sherlock Holmes story, “The Adventure of the Final Problem“, and the Nazi’ euphemistic response to what they called “the problem of the Jews.”

An old man becomes involved in a case of a murdered man and a missing parrot. He is a former detective, now retired, and he keeps bees. By these details, and others, the reader infers this is Sherlock Holmes, who somehow survived the Reichenbach Falls incident of “The Final Problem.” The parrot belonged to a mute, Jewish boy who had escaped from Germany. It recited strings of German numbers, and thus was valuable to various villains depending on what they thought the numbers meant. There are hints throughout, but their meaning is confirmed very near the end in a risky chapter told from the point of view of the parrot. The old man never solves the meaning of the numbers, but he does solve the mystery of the parrot’s disappearance, as well as the murder.

Both in story and writing style, I found this a tense, clever homage to the Holmes stories, and appreciated how Chabon gave it a dark, Holocaust influence that has become a hallmark of his last few novels. Recommended.

Added later, from G. Grod, who is more familiar with the Holmes story than me:

“The Adventure of the Final Problem” is the story with Holmes and Moriarty and the Reichenbach falls. But most of the stories come after that. Doyle tried to quit Holmes, but had to bring him back by popular demand - the story of his return is in “The Adventure of the Empty House”. It’s where he explains that he had to go into hiding to operate secretly against the crime networks still extant after the death of Moriarty.

In your review of Chabon, you make it seem like Chabon brought Holmes back, when in fact Doyle did it. Holmes never actually dies in the stories. In “His Last Bow” he is preparing for WWI. Stories published later occur chronologically earlier within the canon.

#26 in my 2007 book challenge was the first graphic novel is The Plain Janes, from DC Comics new imprint Minx. I liked Plain Janes, as I liked Breaking Up and the Hopeless Savages books. But they’re awfully similar to one another, and to the plot of Mean Girls. They all are told from the viewpoint of a cute but not beautiful artistic girl. She develops a crush on a cute, geeky guy, and in the end mean people get their comeuppance. It’s an enjoyable formula, made more interesting by individual art styles, but it _is_ a formula.

Jane moves to the ‘burbs after getting injured in a 9/11-esque attack. She has to make new friends and negotiate a new school. To rebel, she creates a guerilla public-art group. While I’m fine with people speaking out against strip malls and for more art, I disagree with bubbles in a fountain. Art? Maybe. Environmentally damaging? Yes–most soaps are corrosive. Expensive vandalism? Also, yes (see what happened in Philly last year).

This was a decent story with good art. Recommended, with reservations.

I thought a few pieces of our regular junk mail were inevitable–the weekly supermarket circulars, and the handful of coupon mailings addressed only to resident. I am happy to announce that I was wrong. Each marketing piece has a website, and each website has contact information, and I’ve removed myself from four of these nuisances recently. Kicking the junkmail can be daunting, but it’s worth it. There’s so much less coming into our house, and therefore so much less that I have to consider, sort, and throw away.

Friends and comrades,

I thought you might like to know that you can now hear my new single, “Old Clash Fan Fight Song” at

www.myspace.com/billybragg

It’s released today on 7” vinyl as a benefit record for the Jail Guitar Doors campaign. The money raised will be used to buy guitars and other equipment for those dedicated people who are using music to help rehabilitate the inmates of British prisons.

The single is available from my website

www.billybragg.co.uk

for £1.99 plus postage and packing. £1 from every sale will go to Jail Guitar Doors. Every 50 copies sold will buy another guitar. You can find out more about the campaign by going to the website at

www.jailguitardoors.org.uk

Billy Bragg

(thanks to The Mad Ripple for the heads up)

Drake’s and my semi-annual dentist appointment happened to fall on his birthday. He was an exemplary patient, and chose cookie dough flavored tooth polish, and bubble gum flavored fluoride treatment. I was gagging inside, but he seemed to really like them.

Did you know that the fluoride treatments in the trays are only 1 minute each, top and bottom? I remember them as endless misery from my childhood, or at least thirty minutes. I asked the assistant how long they were when we were kids. She said they were five minutes each. I think there are two possibilities. One, that my childhood mind magnified the experience since I found it so unpleasant. Or two, my childhood hygienist took the opportunity to go have a smoke and read a magazine, and just returned when she felt like it, leaving me soaking in nasty goo far longer than necessary. While I suspect the latter, maybe she was doing me a favor. I’ve only ever had one cavity, and every time I go to the dentist they gush over my teeth, which is strangely affirming to my esteem.

Since we had the morning to ourselves, I tried to make an adventure of it:

Child tooth cleaning: $101
Used book store: $20 + $1.48 for Magic Tree House #2–Drake’s birthday book.
Children’s store: $12 for clothes, $.27 for a birthday Matchbox car
Noodles & Co: $14.50
Ben & Jerry’s: $4.50
Morning spent happily tooling around with my 4yo, who was listening and not yelling: priceless.

Four years ago today, I became a mom when Drake was born. It’s a strange and disorienting feeling to compare life then and now. People say “it goes so fast,” but it feels like we’ve had a new lifetime in these four years.

Four years ago, G. Grod and I were living in a cute little condo downtown. We both had executive jobs, and walked to work. I regularly went to yoga, and we frequently went out to dinner and to the movies. Now our little family of four lives in a house in a neighborhood. G. has a different job, and I stay home with the kids. We have different friends, and different habits. We also have the extraordinary privilege of being parents to Drake, who is a very cool person. He loves books, music and cars. His current favorite CDs are The Beach Boys and Fatboy Slim. He loves to run, and he’s an agile climber. He’s learning yoga. He likes to shop at our grocery cooperative, though he often doesn’t eat what we buy there. Last year he wanted to be a quarterback and asked us to call him Donovan, since he’s an Eagles fan like his dad. This year, he says he’s Lito Sheppard.

I look forward to seeing who he is, and who we are, next year.

Like the backhoe loader in one of our favorite books, I’m Dirty, Drake wanted a (pretend) mud cake for his birthday. I skipped the scoop of Rocky Road–I figured the cake had more than enough sugar for the adults, much less the kids. I made the “mud” cake (actually a Blackout Cake from Cook’s Country) on Friday night, assembled it (complete with toy digger and mounds of “dirt” frosting), and cleaned the house on Saturday, and then had some of Drake’s friends over to celebrate.

THEN I began to bake again, because in a fit of something (madness? hubris?) I entered the baking competition at the State Fair in several categories, and samples were due the next morning. I made four recipes in three and a half hours: brownies, banana bread, corn muffins and scones.

I have no idea when the judging happens, or when and how the results are communicated. I had a great time baking this weekend, and an even better time eating the results. If I get a ribbon, that’ll just be metaphorical icing.

Final stats for all five recipes:

Eggs: 8
Sugar: 6 1/4 cups
Butter: 1 1/16 pounds
Chocolate (bittersweet, unsweetened, white, and cocoa): over a pound

whatever else she was going to say was interrupted because she accidentally stuck a nappy pin into one of Clifford’s rare moments of peace and he went very red and started to scream and scream until poor Nell shook him before bursting into tears herself and exclaiming to Frank, ‘I didn’t know it was going to be like this.’

Behind the Scenes at the Museum has been sitting out for months now on my Book Stack of Reproach, as I’ve wanted to quote and quote again from it. I was shocked at the recognition of feeling when I read the above passage. I’ve felt that way so many times. It’s ugly, but it’s also sometimes true.

A French author, Corinne Maier, is getting a lot of press for having the audacity to write a book called No Kid: Forty Reasons Not to Have a Child, and to say that she sometimes regrets having kids. (Links via Bookslut Blog.) I try to write parenting anecdotes I don’t think my kids will mind reading in ten years, but I’m tempted to be honest here in a way that could easily be misunderstood.

Like Maier, I sometimes feel regret about having kids, rather in the manner of “Calgon, take me away!” While it feels perilous to admit this, I don’t think it’s either/or. It happens about once a morning when I am not able to meet some basic need of my own, like having breakfast or getting dressed, and the boys are screaming and fighting. The moment and the feeling both pass, and develop context.

Lately, I’m trying something new. Since these incidents occur almost every morning, I flirted with the idea of embracing the chaos. That was too much to contemplate. Instead, I’m trying not to mind the scream fests, meaning let them bother me, or attend to them (unless I suspect grievous bodily harm, which does often occur.) This new “trying not to mind” strategy is working pretty well. I find myself appreciating parenting more often, and wishing it away less often.