Author Archive

What We’ve Been Watching

Thursday, September 13th, 2012

Turns out I basically took the summer off from writing about movies. Unintentional, probably because I was huffing and puffing to keep up with the Shelf Discovery readalong. I have also acknowledged to myself that it is unlikely that I will be able to catch up in one fell swoop of a post. Probably not desirable, either, for me or you, dear reader, eh? Thus, without further ado:

Stepbrothers (2008) Recommended by a friend, and as with many Will Ferrell movies, I wanted it to be funnier than it was. And yet, thinking about “Boats and Hoes” and the “Catalina Wine Mixer” both make me laugh in memory.

Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries Season one. I re-watched these with my boys, who are the ages my sisters and I were when we watched it. It’s terrible. But we all enjoyed it anyway. My husband G. Grod, though? Not so much.

Cowboy Bebop the Movie (2001) Not as fun as watching the series was.

Seeing Spots

Monday, September 10th, 2012

I have a gigantic blemish on my face. I’m not paranoid; it’s obvious. It started out as one of those deep, cystic ones. It throbbed so badly I thought it was going to spout a face and start talking to me. In the end, it was the same thing: a huge, unsightly whitehead.

Back in the day, I used to have persistent cystic acne that seemed irritated by hormonal shifts. I went to an old-school dermatologist named Myron, who would give me shots of cortisone in each cyst, and prescribe a lotion and cream that never worked well enough that I could stop going in and getting those painful shots, though they did shrink the cussers.

Eventually another dermatologist convinced me to try Accutane, which was a tough drug while I was on it, but did dramatically improve my skin. Now, though, as I approach menopause and the hormones get uppity, I’ve got cysts rearing their ugly (white)heads again. Sigh.

It seems unjust that I’m 44, and facing the same acne issues as at 14. I know not to pop it, and that covering it makes it worse AND highlights it. There’s little to do but abide and wait for it to subside. I have a cold compress on it now (the Mr. Happy cold pack that is supposedly for the kids.) Small problem, I know. But still, pretty gross.

Labor Day Weekend Book Bender, part deux

Sunday, September 9th, 2012

In my defense…oh, I’ll just shut up now. I do not have time to read these books, I cannot afford them, and I don’t have shelf space for them. Yet, I bought them anyway. Another possible epitaph for me.

Also, the blog is showing these pics in a fun-house format, and I have no idea how to fix it. I hope the books aren’t self-conscious because they look fatter than they are in real life.

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The titles, and becauses:

Weight by Jeannette Winterson. A candidate for the book group I moderate. And: $2! Part of the Canongate Myth series, along with Buddha and A Short History of Myth by Karen Armstrong.
Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson. Because Stevenson was mentioned in Peace Like a River, and that’s all the excuse I need.
Saint Maybe by Anne Tyler. A candidate for the book group. (I’m auditioning them, doncha know? Also known as: nerdishly obsessing and compulsively buying.)
Oliver Twist by Dickens. The Penguin cloth-bound cover!
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. (Who was also mentioned in Peace Like a River, but this title wasn’t.) The Ruben Toledo Cover!

G. Grod to me: You aren’t actually going to read that again, are you?
Me: …
Him: You bought it for the cover, didn’t you?
Me: …

But oh, can you blame me for buying these books (at half price plus 20% off) for THESE covers?

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Labor Day Weekend Book Bender, part 1

Sunday, September 9th, 2012

20% off at Half Price books over the long Labor Day weekend, and I had a very satisfying time combing through their Highland Park store in St. Paul:

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The goods, and the becauses:

Semisonic Pleasure and All About Chemistry: we just saw Semisonic at the MN state fair, and decided to address these gaps in our local music collection
Buddha by Karen Armstrong. Because some members of the book group I moderate want us to read this. And I’d passed it up twice.
Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather. A candidate for the same book group.
True Grit by Charles Portis. $2!
Main Street. Oh, what, you remember me getting this already, recently. Alas, the print in the MMPB was too small. I chose to get this Modern Library edition for my aging eyes.
The Cloister Walk by Kathleen Norris. A candidate for the above book group.
Not pictured: The Deptford Trilogy by Robertson Davies. For my husband, because The Biblioracle recommended it. Also, $2!

A Little More Catching Up

Sunday, September 9th, 2012

Really, dear readers, I’m not sure why you put up with me. When I went to check how many photos I haven’t posted and DVDs I haven’t talked about, I was abashed. And what about all those clever vignettes and stories I meant to write about regularly? Yeah, not so much. Sigh.

On an upside, I’ve been on some nice bike rides lately, with and without the boys. In my recent post on milestones, I forgot to mention my bike milestones.

In June, I celebrated five years as a bicyclist! I got my first bicycle as an adult when my younger son was about one year old, and have been gradually riding more ever since.

In April, I’d been riding my current bike, Pepper, for a year. I traded in my adorable but unwieldy cruiser for a sleeker, simpler single speed, which I have now pimped out to my satisfaction (this photo isn’t even current; I got a tan saddle to match the handlebar tape). I feel like it was after I got Pepper, once Guppy started full-day kindergarten, that I got serious as a cyclist, and worked up from five miles each way to round trips in the 20- and 30-mile range. Also, this past winter was so mild that whenever G. Grod put the bikes away in the basement, I found myself hauling Pepper back upstairs, in January, February, and March.

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For upcoming posts, I’ve got a few more book stacks (went a little nuts over the holiday weekend at Half Price Books 20% off sales), and a slew of DVDs to catch up on. Good thing I’ve been reading a long book, Main Street by Sinclair Lewis, so at least I’m not behind in book reviews. My goodness, there were a lot of those this summer.

Now that both boys are back in school, Guppy in 1st, Drake in 3rd, I have all sorts of grand ideas about what I’ll do with all my time: write more, bike more, volunteer, get a part-time job, etc. I’ll wait to see what the gap between idealism and reality looks like this year.

Marking a Few Milestones

Wednesday, September 5th, 2012

Welcome to the first week of September, which is my kids’ second week of school, and I am now back in the (writing) saddle, and almost weeping with joy at the long stretches of peace and quiet.

I am frequently asked how my summer was. My response: hot and busy, but not in the naughty way. Shuttling children to and fro, mediating fights, doling out consequences. Thus, I didn’t write a lot. I did _read_ a lot, with the Summer of Shelf Discovery and for my book groups.

But it occurred to me sometime recently that some milestones flew by and I forgot to mark them. So

May was my yoga-versary. I’ve been doing yoga for 12 years, and it’s the only exercise I’ve ever been able to keep up with year ’round.

June was my blog-iversary. Yes, Girl Detective turned ten. 10! I always fancied myself a writer, but it wasn’t till I started my blog that I got a regular writing habit.

In August Drake turned 9, and August also marked the 22nd anniversary of my last cigarette.

Turns out, I’ve been a non-smoker, yogi, writer and mom for a long time now. And no, it’s doesn’t feel like it’s gone by fast. It’s been a day at a time that I’ve accrued these newer and different aspects of myself.

“I’d Know You Anywhere” by Laura Lippman

Saturday, September 1st, 2012

A while-ago suggestion for me from The Biblioracle, I finally got around to I’d Know You Anywhere by Laura Lippman. I first read Lippman as part of The Morning News Tournament of books, and really enjoyed her What the Dead Know. She has a long-standing series, but these are both standalone books, and ones that stand out, as well. It’s strongly plotted, solidly written, fast paced, well characterized, and a thumping good read.

Eliza Bennet is living a good life with a husband and two kids in suburban Maryland when she gets a letter from a man she used to know. The twists? Walter is a killer on death row. He kidnapped her when she was fifteen. Unlike the other two girls he’s known to have killed, he left her alive.

It’s told in back and forth focus on Eliza and Walter, with a few other characters thrown in. As the date approached for Walter’s execution, Eliza struggles with remembering the past as well as dealing with mundane things like her teen daughter’s rebellion and her younger son’s nightmares. Lippman ratchets the tension and throws in enough believable detail that I was kept guessing till the end, which was a very satisfying one, I thought.

Four Graphic Novels

Friday, August 31st, 2012

My pile of graphic novels got higher over the past months as I did the Summer of Shelf Discovery Readalong and kept up with my book groups. I’ve finally been able to catch up, and it’s been a good batch of varied stuff.

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Cinderella: Fables are Forever by Chris Roberson ill. by Shawn McManus. The second miniseries devoted to Cinderella (I enjoyed the first, From Fabletown with Love), set in the Fables comic-series universe, this is a standalone miniseries that yet fits into the bigger mythology. I was a little disappointed when I finished it, but it’s grown on me since. What I didn’t like were the many flashbacks, and I sometimes was disoriented in time. What worked was introducing a nemesis for Cinderella, an interesting one, and seeing their interactions past and present. There was one twist at the end involving identity that I didn’t quite buy. The book introduced another world and minor characters that also play roles in the larger Fables series, so this is one that works on its own and enhances the larger works. There are also tantalizing hints about Frau Totenkinder, who has always been one of my favorite characters.

Caveats: the Cinderella stories are riffs on James Bond, so they have sex and violence. On the surface Cindy is a strong, liberated woman exercising choice and power. But this is a story by men, and to me the sexism comes through louder than the strong-female aspect.

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Fables v. 17 Inherit the Wind. Wahoo! A return to the series strong points, its main characters and the overarching stories. Finally we are back to the aftermath of the fables’ war with Mr. Dark and the rebuilding that happens both by the heroes and villains. I loved the main story about which of Snow White and Bigby Wolf’s cubs/kids would be the heir to the North Wind. I was very disappointed in the last Fables collection, Super Team, which felt thin and not as funny as it was trying to be. This collection was a great example of the things I love about the series, though Snow White as whiny mother is a drag; she was way more kick-ass at the beginning of the series.

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Richard Stark’s Parker: The Score by Darwyn Cooke. I have no idea why I like noir, with its sexist tropes and poisonous portrayals of women, though I do think sometimes misANTHROPY is mistaken for misogyny. But for all its troublesome aspects, I like the genre when it’s done well in book, film and comics, and I think Cooke’s new Parker graphic novel is excellent. Parker is the career criminal who’s getting a gang together for a sure-thing heist. He smells a rat but can’t suss it out till everything is well under way. This is a complicated story with ten men involved in the heist, yet Cook does a great job of telling the story visually and keeping to the terse, minimalist style of the source material. There were several pages and spreads that I lingered over, appreciating how they did what they did. In addition to being a great story, this is a lovely book. Heavy covers, quality pages and nicely retro end pages. Highly recommended if you can stomach noir.

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The Underwater Welder by Jeff Lemire, the author/illustrator of another of my favorite ongoing comic series, Sweet Tooth. Here, Lemire is telling a story set in present reality. Jack is a young husband and about to be father. He works as a welder for a nearby oil rig off the shore of a tiny town in Nova Scotia. When he dives, he has visions. Are they his imagination, or something more mystic than that, and what are they trying to tell him. A good mystery, sympathetic characters, and nicely told in wash-y black and white.

One thing: I am DONE with descriptions of something as the best episode of the Twilight Zone you’ve never seen. It’s cheap shorthand for a blurbist or introduction author (here, Damon Lindelof, the Lost guy). The Underwater Welder was far more nuanced in story and execution than such a comparison implies.

“Tinkers” by Paul Harding

Thursday, August 30th, 2012

Tinkers by Paul Harding was a selection for one of my book groups. I read it alongside Vestments by John Reimringer and Peace Like a River by Leif Enger to compare and contrast the three novels. There were a lot of similarities, as well as differences, and each had things to well reward the reader.

Tinkers announces its ending at the beginning:

George Washington Crosby began to hallucinate eight days before he died.

Over the eight days of George’s dying, he moves beyond his own consciousness and remembers events from his own life, but also his father Howard’s, and his unnamed grandfather’s. George was a teacher when he was young, and later an antique clock repair person, tinkering with their inner works. Eight days is the time a wound clock will take to run down. Howard was a tinker in that he owned a cart and sold things and did odd jobs around the countryside. His father was a preacher, in awe of nature, and attempting to make connections between nature and God even while his own connections were failing him as he succumbed to dementia.

This is a surprisingly dense book for one so short. The sentences can be mesmerizing, but sometimes I found them too much, and had to drag my attention back to the page. This is not a fast-moving, plot-driven tale. It reminded me more than a little of Marilynne Robinson’s Gilead, unsurprising as Harding was a student of Robinson’s. Like that book, it’s about fathers and sons, and how we engage with the world and our families. If you liked that book, you’re likely to appreciate this one.

2 Thoughts on 1 Book Stack

Tuesday, August 28th, 2012

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(Note how artfully I included the receipt.)

Thought 1: This is actually restraint for me. There are at least 3 books I put back on the shelf and didn’t get today.

Thought 2: I am turning into my mother, buying books on religion and stacking them all over the house and not reading them.

Here’s why I got these particular lovelies today:

Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis: candidate for my group that reads books on myth and religion. Recommended by author Marlon James.

The Great Divorce and The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Candidates for the book group, and ones I used to own and couldn’t find when I went to look for recently. A scene in Peace Like a River reminded me of The Great Divorce, and I wanted to re-read it.

A Short History of Myth
by Karen Armstrong. Also for the book group. Passed over Armstrong’s Buddha for this, though one member has been lobbying hard for the latter. Think we’ll read this alongside Ragnarok by A.S. Byatt.

The Moviegoer
by Walker Percy. Also for the book group. (I’ve been nerdishly obsessing over what next year’s books are going to be. Alas, most were ones I didn’t already own.)

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
by Robert Louis Stevenson. On clearance for $2! Also, went to look for this after Stevenson’s books were mentioned in Peace Like a River, and found I didn’t own it.

“Peace Like a River” by Leif Enger

Monday, August 27th, 2012

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I moderate a group that reads books on spirituality and myth, and Leif Enger’s Peace Like a River has been on the to-read list from the beginning, as it’s by a Minnesota author and parts of it are set in northern Minnesota.

It’s narrated by Reuben, in an adult voice telling the story from the perspective of himself as a child. This can be a tough point of view to pull off. I thought it worked most of the time, but there were a few times early on when I got bounced out of the story. Interestingly, it wasn’t the age of the voice felt wrong, but that Reuben kept making Foreboding Prounouncements, when I would have much preferred to just get on with the story.

what [Dad] said to Swede and me on the worst night of all our lives:

We and the world, my children will always be at war.
Retreat is impossible.
Arm yourselves. (4)

And

I felt straight off that a piece of our lives had changed, as certainly as our cheerful green door had gone to black (21)

And

I wonder yet what might’ve happened had Dad and I stayed home that night or had Davy and Swede gone with us to church. Wars escalate in mysterious ways, unforeseen by good men and prophets…

So thoughtlessly we sling on our destinies. (28)

When the FPs tapered off I did get on with the story, and it pulled me through to the end.

At the beginning of the story, Reuben’s brother Davy does something that the law doesn’t agree with. Davy runs away, and soon asthmatic Reuben, his miraculous dad, and his Western-writing younger sister Swede head west after him. Intertwining with their trip is a “putrid fed,” Andreeson, who says it’s his job to find Davy. Everything intersects in the Badlands of North Dakota, where what transpires reflects the singularity of the landscape.

This is a novel that has a lot of sweetness, that at times overbalances its complex bitter parts, which I thought were well done. But it has some gorgeous writing, a ripping plot, great settings, and some thought-provoking questions on whether miracles exist and what they are.

The book wears it’s ties to the Western genre clearly. But the family’s road trip, and Davy’s outlaw status reminded me strongly of The Grapes of Wrath, while a scene near the end reminded me of C.S. Lewis’ The Great Divorce. I found these an interesting mix of influences.

My Drink of the Summer

Monday, August 27th, 2012

coffee_sodaSummer is kind of over–9yo Drake and 6yo Guppy boarded the school bus this morning, and I’ve spent the day reading, writing, staking floppy tomato plants, weeding, and doing laundry while through it all revelling in the peace and quiet.

I never knew how much I disliked noise and mess until I had a child. Then another. Both boys.

But anyway. I had a lightbulb moment earlier this summer and added a splash of cold-brewed coffee to a glass of fizzy water, and I’ve been drinking it ever since. Twelve ounces fizzy water (I favor La Croix plain) with an ounce or two of cold-press coffee are two great things that go great together. So even though the kids are back to school, leaves are falling and the squirrels are leaving walnut casings on the sidewalk, I think I’ve still got a few more weeks of warm weather to keep enjoying this.

Severe Book-Buying Problem, part deux

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012

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Veronica Mars Season 1 DVD, because my husband and I both wanted to watch it again, and came to this decision independently
The Brothers Karamazov, because it was a brand new copy for $2!
Wuthering Heights, because it was the beautiful Ruben Toledo cover (details below)
This Boy’s Life by Tobias Wolff, because the Biblioracle said so
Miss Lonelyhearts and The Day of the Locust by Nathanael West, ditto
Nicholas by Sempe/Goscinny, because I wanted it, even if 9yo Drake didn’t
Dr. Who Time Traveller’s Almanac, because Drake wanted it
Star Wars Head to Head (who would win in imaginary battles between characters), because 6yo Guppy wanted it

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Summer of Shelf Discovery Week 11: The End

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012

NOTE: PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT IF YOU PARTICIPATED IN THE READALONG, AND YOU’LL BE ENTERED IN A GIVEAWAY FOR SWAG FROM SHELF DISCOVERY AUTHOR LIZZIE SKURNICK!

And this brings us to the end of the Summer of Shelf Discovery readalong, in which we read a chapter of Lizzie Skurnick’s book memoir Shelf Discovery each week, plus a book she covered in that chapter.

Ten weeks, ten chapters, and this is the one that goes to 11, the recap. What did I learn this summer?

Re-reading books from childhood is fun. I should do it more often.

Some books have lasting appeal; some were of their place and time. Some were complete crap. (Ahem, Alice.)

Some books might be more beloved because of early imprinting, and those who come late experience them differently (Wrinkle in Time).

Some books are polarizing. (Harriet the Spy)

I have a severe book-buying problem. (I didn’t just learn this, but it was certainly reinforced. I collected a LOT of kids books this summer.)

And, as a result of buying all those books and not reading them, I will probably do this readalong next summer. I have grand visions of an email list with weekly reminders.

What did you think? What did you read? What did you learn?

“My Sweet Audrina” by V.C. Andrews

Friday, August 17th, 2012

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I re-read My Sweet Audrina by V.C. Andrews for the last chapter of the Shelf Discovery Readalong, Chapter 10: Panty Lines: I Can’t Believe They Let Us Read This. I found a copy in the Teen section at Half-Price Books, and the edition is published by Simon Pulse, a teen imprint, so between my teenhood and now things have changed. The V.C. Andrews books have been uncovered for what they are: racy reads for pre-teens. And the book even has a picture of a pretty pink peony on the front, so it doesn’t look dirty AT ALL. Not like the peekaboo cover and inside flap of the cover I read back when:

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From the back cover:

Audrina Adare wanted to be as good as her sister. But she knew her father could not love her as he loved her sister. Her sister was so special, so perfect…and dead.

Now Audrina with come fact to face with the dangerous, terrifying secret that everyone knows. Everyone except…Audrina.

I am abashed to admit that I had a good time re-reading this gothic potboiler from my youth. Audrina is a pretty seven-year old who lives in a weird house with a weird family. The father and her cousin are particularly creepy. I fully remembered the “secret” and wondered if I guessed the ending when I read this as a girl about thirty (!) years ago. The writing is terrible, the secret hardly dangerous, and given the book’s 400 pages, and its covering of thirteen year, I really think it could’ve been shorter to ramp up the tension. And yet, up till the end, I still enjoyed it, purple prose and all:

On shimmering hot waves of smoldering desire to do it all over again, out here in the storm when the world could end any second and no sin would matter, I drifted back to being me.

The end, though, when the “secret” is finally revealed and consequences sorta happen, was like having a nasty dessert to a tasty junk food meal. Or perhaps like the moment when you’re eating junk food and everything’s fine and then bam, a line is crossed and it can’t be tasty again. Perhaps the ugliness and awkwardness of the ending put a spotlight on the garish over-the-top-ness of the book. The ending made the guilt over time spent overwhelm any fleeting pleasure. Eminently skippable. Unless you start it, then you might not be able to stop.

My friend Amy felt similarly about Flowers in the Attic.

I’m going to read something with some nutritive value, now.

Comments

Thursday, August 16th, 2012

Friends, if you’re reading, PLEASE comment. As of late, I’m fielding over a hundred spams a day (screw you, Lista de email, et al) and can’t tell you what joy I experience when I find a real comment in all that crap.

I Have a Severe Book-Buying Problem

Thursday, August 16th, 2012

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I can say with some confidence that the St. Paul Half Price Books on Ford Parkway, conveniently near Quixotic Coffee, has the best selection of used children’s and young-adult books around and a generous clearance section. I can also say I probably did not need to bring home FOURTEEN new (used) books.

But, but, I didn’t bring home even more, because I wanted even more, so that makes it better, right?

Um, yeah.

It is a problem because:

1. we don’t have unlimited funds (but this stack only cost $43!)
2. We ran out of bookshelf space a long time ago and now have teetering stacks…
3. …of unread books, because there’s no way I have time to read all I buy.

And yet, there is always a reason, which seems compelling at the time. I am a master of because reasoning. Herewith, the book stack and the becauses that are in addition to Drake being almost 9 and thus totally ready for many of these, right?

Main Street by Sinclair Lewis: for one of my book groups, only $1
Arm of the Starfish by Madeleine L’Engle: from Shelf Discovery, old-school MMPB
Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator by Roald Dahl: because nearly 9yo Drake just finished his dad’s old copy of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, unearthed from Grammy’s basement.
Matilda Bone by Karen Cushman: Trina Schart Hyman cover (my favorite children’s illustrator)
Ronia, the Robber’s Daughter by Astrid Lindgren: Ditto above
The Girl with Silver Eyes by Willo Davis Roberts: From Shelf Discovery, plus got a lotta love in the SD Readalong
Harriet the Spy by Louise Fitzhugh: Ditto above
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott: I love Oxford editions
The Egypt Game by Zilpha Keatley Snyder: one of my favorites as a girl; want to revisit after reading Shelf Discovery
Cheaper by the Dozen by Frank Gilbreth Jr and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey: from Shelf Discovery
My Sweet Audrina by V.C. Andrews: From Shelf Discovery, a teen edition(?!)
Pride and Prejudice: I am slowly collecting all the Austen novels in these lovely Penguin editions.
Here Comes Charlie Moon: by English author Shirley Hughes, whom I fell in love with after discovering her Alfie picture books
The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder: See The Egypt Game above.

Five YA Novels that Influenced Me When I was a Teen

Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

A young-adult-lit friend sent me a link to author Rachel Carter’s post at Nerdy Book Club on the five young adult (YA) books that were important to her, and why, as a teen.

Since we’ve been discussing this all summer as part of the Summer of Shelf Discovery Readalong (discussing? We’ve been SOAKING in it, Madge.), I thought I’d post my five since my memory has been helpfully jogged by this summer’s YA reading bender.

1. Down a Dark Hall by Lois Duncan. It was creepy and compelling and taught me who Emily Bronte was. Kind of a tie here with Summer of Fear. Buyer beware: several of the Duncan books have been updated with clumsy references to modern tech, which is a shame, because I really like the new covers. Seek out previous editions.

2. Jacob Have I Loved by Katherine Paterson. It perfectly captured my older-sister angst.

3. The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare. Spoiled girl gets her comeuppance but finds love in the end. Yay!

4. A Wrinkle in Time by Margaret L’Engle. It was the first YA book I remember reading, loving, and re-reading. It helped make me a reader.

5. Dragonflight by Anne McCaffrey. My cousin lent this to me when I was in seventh grade. A girl and her very own telepathic dragon—what could be better than that? Alas, when I re-read it, I found the suck fairy had gotten to it.

What would you pick as your five? You can post on this and link back, or leave in comments.

“Flowers in the Attic,” review by Amy C. Rea

Monday, August 13th, 2012

[As part of the Summer of Shelf Discovery Readalong, I've asked a few friends to contribute guest posts, as Lizzie Skurnick had guest writers in the book. This week it's my friend Amy Rea who writes both on Shelf Discovery's Chapter 10 and one of the books from it, Flowers in the Attic.]

So here we are, Chapter 10 of Shelf Discovery, “Panty Lines: I Can’t Believe They Let Us Read This.” These are the books that we read furtively, somewhat ashamed, more than a little titillated, and to this day, wonder why our mothers didn’t know/didn’t find out/didn’t take them away.

Skurnick makes the point that many of us learned a bit about the birds and the bees from reading these books. In my case, it wasn’t quite enough. Sex ed back in my day was nonexistent in school; my mother’s version was to give me a pamphlet she’d been given during her teens (the 1940s), tell me to read it, and ask her if I had any questions.

You can just imagine how well a pamphlet from the 1940s explained the mechanics of sex. Not.

So when I started reading books like Kathleen Woodiwiss’s The Flame and the Flower and Rosemary Rogers’s Sweet Savage Love, I was puzzled by many things. What was with the arching of the back? What was this business about being “entered”? And like many a preteen girl before me, I had no intention of asking my mother.

Who knows how long I would have remained ignorant had I not discovered, while digging through the attic looking for something else, a deeply buried box of books that were, shall we say, much clearer in the mechanics of sex than Dames Woodiwiss and Rogers. A couple of those books and I was thoroughly educated. Everything suddenly made sense.

Except for why that box of books was in my attic. So I asked my mother (sure, I could ask her that), who was horrified to learn of my discovery. Seems that my godfather (oh, the irony) had given my parents this box of books, thinking they’d enjoy them. My father, not at all–my mother, it was way too much for her. They were excruciatingly embarrassed by the books, so much so that they couldn’t even bear to take them to the dump, and instead buried them in the attic, thinking I’d never find them.

Silly me. I should never have asked. The box disappeared, and to this day I have no idea where it went. Maybe they buried it in the woods or dropped it in the middle of Gull Lake.

Among the many books from this chapter that I read in my early teens is another that I don’t necessarily think my mother would have approved of, if she’d ever read it herself.

flowers

I read a lot of supernatural books as a kid, and I think my mother looked at the cover of this one and thought it was just another ghost story. It’s certainly creepy, but not in a supernatural way.

If you’re not familiar with it, spoiler alertFlowers in the Attic is the story of the Dollanganger kids, all four of them locked into an attic while their widowed mother tries to persuade her estranged father that he should give her the enormous inheritance he’d taken away from her when she married her half uncle. Incest apparently runs in the family, because after a couple of years of being locked up, the older two kids find themselves looking at one another in a less than sisterly/brotherly way.

Where to start with how awful this book is? I remembered the brother-sister incest, but not that the actual act of sex is pretty much a rape; I didn’t remember that the mother behaved so inappropriately around her teenage son: “Directly in front of the sofa, our mother spun around and the black chiffon of her negligee flared like a dancer’s, revealing her beautiful legs from feet to hips.” Mom! Boundaries! And that’s before she draws her son’s head against her “creamy, smooth breast”.

The writing is beyond dreadful. What 14-year-old boy talks like this?

To us, our mother is only our mother. To others, she is a beautiful, sexy young widow who is likely to inherit a fortune. No wonder the moths all come swarming to encircle the kind of bright flame she is.

And the kids’ mother and grandmother–good lord, “gothic” doesn’t even begin to describe it. The grandmother is a religious fanatic who definitely does not believe in sparing the rod, and the mother is essentially a selfish wench, increasingly detaches from her kids, who are stuck in the attic while she parties and eventually remarries.

Which is why it gave me pause when I saw that author V.C. Andrews dedicated this book to her own mother.

Even creepier, if this is even remotely accurate, this site claims that Andrews didn’t consider the book fully fiction

And finally, creepiest of all, in spite of the cringe-worthy nature of the topic, in spite of the fact that it’s way over the top and the writing is dead awful, somehow I really want to read the sequel.

[Editor's note: Don't do it, Amy. Nothing like closure happens till book four, and they get increasingly weird and awful.]

Amy C. Rea blogs at New Century Reading and A Closer Look at Flyover Land.

This post copyright 2012 Amy C. Rea.

Summer of Shelf Discovery Week 10, Ch 10: “Panty Lines”

Monday, August 13th, 2012

It’s the last chapter of our Summer of Shelf Discovery Readalong and we’re on Chapter 10: “Panty Lines: I Can’t Believe They Let Us Read This.” Apologies to those who dislike swearing, but I think the chapter title is missing a word at the end and should be “I Can’t Believe They Let Us Read This Shit.”

Now, to be fair, much of what Lizzie Skurnick and friends do in Shelf Discovery is break down why many of the books we read as children not only WEREN’T shit, but are also good for adults, as several of us have noted of some of these books along the way like Jacob Have I Loved and I Am the Cheese.

Nonetheless, whether or not the books in Chapter 10 were/are shit, I think we can agree we read these because they were “dirty” or “naughty”:

My Sweet Audrina
and Flowers in the Attic (et al) by VC Andrews
The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean Auel
Wifey by Judy Blume (which Forever was like the training-bra version of and probably where I learned about gonorrhea)
Domestic Arrangements by Norma Klein

IMO, Domestic Arrangements (which I read as a teen, and sticks in my memory as the heroine was described as having marmalade-colored hair, which, as a ginger myself, I found improbable, especially as she had dark auburn/chestnut colored hair on the cover) is sort of like the “3 of these things belong together, one of these things just doesn’t belong”). Because I don’t think Domestic Affairs was meant to shock and titillate, but I think the other 3 were. Discuss, please.

I wonder if the whole “I can’t believe they let us read this shit” aspect also was because, back then, parents were way less helicopter-y. And also, as Skurnick notes, now all teens need to do is open a Gossip Girl book (by author Cecily von Ziegesar, who is a guest author in this chapter, and who also used to work in the Sweet Valley High sweatshop, as this guy did) or turn on the TV, or go see a PG 13 movie.

In the interest of exploring this theory, I bought Gossip Girl to read, and then, of course, didn’t. In fact, I’m sure you will be shocked to learn, I bought a lot of books for this readalong that I didn’t read. Which is why I’m thinking of doing it again next year. Shelf Discovery is about the joy of re-reading (or, in the case of Go Ask Alice, the bewilderment and rage on re-reading.) so doesn’t it make sense to read along with it more than once? Or does it not make sense to anyone but me? Discuss.

I should put a lot of links in here, but just don’t have time. I’m flipping out about skin eruptions on my younger son. FLIPPING OUT.

Edited to add: Exterminator says he doesn’t think we have bed bugs. Yay! But we still don’t know what bit 6yo Guppy dozens of times. Boo. That’s on top of having a bullseye bite show up last week. Boo.

I also added lots of linky goodness.